February 4, 2016
And the winner is…
What are you doing this Sunday…say around six-ish? Let me guess…you’ll be attending a Super Bowl Party, hosting one, or quietly (NOT!) being a couch potato in the comfort of your own home. Whether or not you’re a fan or simply prefer the Sideline, the Super Bowl has become the most watched game of the season; especially this Sunday when devoted Carolina fans will be Huddling in front of high definition plasma in colossal numbers to witness the historic Kickoff.
Speaking of this benchmark 50th bowl game, the NFL decided to break tradition and opted out of using the Roman numeral “L”. Good choice, since “Super Bowl L” would probably come off as a typo (or text code) leaving fans wanting more. L what? Lucky, Larry, Limpkin. Yep, good call NFL.
Yet, for those not passionate about football there’s always the Quarterback Scramble for tempting cuisine offering flavors from Offensively nuclear to Defensively decadent. Dickens, it doesn’t even matter if your hunger’s barely in Field Goal Range. Come on man, everyone knows it’s the thrill of the Touchdown Celebration that has enthusiastic fans consuming an average of 1,500 to 2,000 calories during the big game. Put into perspective that Return Yardage equates to 3 to 4 Big Macs. Yikes, watching Super Bowl 50 just might pack the pounds on your End Zone, baby. (Don’t quote me, but I’m starting a rumor that when our team wins calories won’t count. Yea!)
Steeped in tradition fans certainly have their own Bump and Run Coverage when it comes to excessive celebrating. Starting at the Line of Scrimmage food prep is put into Motion well in advance of the big day. Wings score the Total Offensive list of top party favorites. Punting from there the Hand-off is Completed with pizzas, chips, meatballs, cakes, cookies and any added Pass Attempt that will stave off cravings. Gatorade Dunk aside, if it’s not an Illegal Procedure it probably comes in a tasty bite sized morsel.
Thus, with nourishment in hand fans are undoubtedly frenzied when commencing their own Double Coverage. Such as Triple-threat aficionados refusing to take a Time-out from “Lucky Chair” until their team scores. Others should receive a 5 Yard Penalty as they Run Out the Clock donning “Lucky” clothes including (borderline acceptable) tattered, torn and whatever tidy whities. Honestly guys, if your undies are a die hard tradition, at least rinse, repeat and Blitz once before wearing this Sunday…or any Sunday. Further fan favorites such as tube socks able to stand on their own in an official Touchdown salute is arguably a Delay of Game, however, less dramatic athletic supporters simply Intercept captivatingly rewarding Super Bowl commercials. Yet, let’s be honest…in a world of Two-point Conversions some commercials Score the Extra Point…other’s need to be Tackled.
Actually, on that Snap, I feel strongly Instant Replays of any Budweiser commercial would be an asset to the Super Bowl; especially, when puppies are involved. Speaking of adorable furballs, the Kitten Bowl will air at noon Sunday on the Hallmark channel. In its third year it’s obviously becoming a tradition. I haven’t seen it yet, but I believe it sounds like a purrrfect complement before the big game.
On a personal note, the only tradition I’ve started is the Happy Dance after a Panther touchdown…and Happy Dancing on steroids after winning. Oh boy! And for Sunday’s game I’m joining the Passing Game by wearing team colors and Panther hat too. Yet it doesn’t matter who y’all are pulling for, it’s going to be one dickens of a milestone game anyway. So before you’re eating pizza shaped like a football while glued in front the big screen Sunday rooting for…well, it goes without saying, doesn’t it? Just remember to be safe, be happy, be grateful, do your Happy Dance and Keep Pounding!
Can you imagine…the Carolina Panthers winning Super Bowl 50?
Smile, it’s a win-win no matter what!