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Appliance Science

December 8, 2016

Will a shiny new appliance appear under your tree this Christmas? Well, I couldn’t wait so I bought a new French door refrigerator for my birthday. Wading through a sea of stainless steel I finally found one I liked that came in white. Although, I’m hoping stainless is a fading fad and major appliances will follow the current trend of mixers, coffee makers and nonstick cookware appearing on store shelves in a cheerful variety of festive colors like candy apple red, jelly bean blue and ocean teal. (Seriously.)

Thus, after much deliberation…making sure the crisper drawer extends completely out when opening just one door (most had the design flaw of not preforming this action)…I made a major appliance decision. Then, I had to wait five days for a white one to arrive. Hard to believe ‘white’ is a special order. Gee, it was like getting fries without salt, or a fish sandwich without cheese and they make you pull over and wait. Yet, making the best use of time I visited the display model; bringing Gina once, Jerry once and mom once for a visit. Gina said, “Only you, Bobbi, would visit a refrigerator.” Wellll, why not?! I was so excited I’m surprised I didn’t stock the floor model with groceries. So was the sales staff.

Anyway, when we finally brought the fridge home Jerry took measurements on the floor with a yardstick and level. At 118 years old there’s not a level floor or plumb wall anywhere in my home which suits me just fine since I’m not always level or plumb myself. Fortunately, as it turned out we only had to cut one strip of wood for the right side to compensate for the uneven floor. Then we slid the fridge in place. Wa-la, it filled the entire space! Awesome sauce, because gone is the four inches of ‘what to do with’ space. Except now I need to find a place to stuff those pesky paper bags we all save and never re-use.

A minor dilemma, since I might gain tens of pounds, which would be a major dilemma. Not because of the holidays, but because I’m always sneaking in the kitchen checking out the latest addition. Dickens, it’s soooo easy to simply open the door and stare. You know, the best invention in the history of refrigerators, hands down, was putting freezers on the bottom. No more stooping…just standing and staring. Sigh, it’s so spotless and shiny. It even makes leftovers look good! I remember the first time I stood grazing…I mean gazing. Startled out of my trance by sudden beeping it was alerting me that the ideal temperature had warmed a degree. Well, imagine that! I thought I’d arrived in the 21st Century when I traded my flip phone for a smart phone. Shoot fire, now I have a smart fridge.

Speaking of smart appliances, Monday night I had the pleasure of meeting Kim as she was honored by BB&T for 30 years of excellent service. A cozy and casual affair, after eating wings and pizza Jerry and I gathered with everyone else to chat. Somehow, the topic turned to the science of appliances. Kim had owned a front loading washer and dryer. So did I! Kim was extremely disappointed. So was I! While a great concept, they (especially the washer) didn’t measure up to all the hype in our opinion. Kim and I shared a good laugh when we realized the replacements we’d bought were simple, opting for knobs…not digital. Evidently, we’d both had enough appliance science and just wanted clean clothes. Besides, who wants a washer that plays music, balances your checkbook and will give you a run for your money in gin rummy?

You know, all this talk about new appliances is making me hungry. Think I’ll visit my fridge, but first, if you’re not in the market for a major appliance how about a power tool? I’ve set my sights on the new hand held circular saw. Sure makes my heart flutter. Besides, I figure since I went overboard on my birthday with two major appliances…forgot to mention the over-the-stove microwave…I’d tone down Christmas. Can’t unwrap it though until Jerry and I remodel the kitchen next year, when my new hand held circular saw will come in…well, handy.

And if you must know…Yes, I’ve been a very good girl this year. Well, at least for the past six months…or was that six weeks. Hard to recall…let’s see, I seem to remember being good for at least six days…in a row. I know, right! Or was that six hours…six minutes maybe…hmmm. I’ll have to get back to you.

In the meantime, give yourself the gift of not overspending. Christmas isn’t about gifts. It’s about love, kindness and spending time with each other.

Can you imagine…beating the washer in gin rummy?



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