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Heart To Heart

February 13, 2014

Have you ever fallen in love at first sight? If you’re male, 48% of you may have answered “yes” vs. a mere 28% of women who have fallen at first sight. It’s a well-known fact men feel they’re ‘in love’ faster than women. But is it true love or just the lust factor? Hard to say, depends on how long the relationship lasted. (Overnight does not count as a relationship.) Yet some couples are as much in love today as they were 20, 30, 40 or more years ago regardless of whom fell first.

Surprisingly, while researching statistics on love and relationships I discovered 33% of men wish their partner was more romantic. Meaning, ladies, men want little love notes in their pockets not just a ‘honey do’ list on the fridge. However, gentlemen, since ‘honey do’ lists come naturally with the territory we ladies promise to draw little hearts over the I’s and kiss the paper with bright red lipstick. Dickens, we might even spray our favorite perfume all over your honey dos. How’s that for romance, guys?

BTW, a few weeks ago I heard on the radio that married couples have sex, on average, 57 times a year. The way I figure it that’s once a week plus two holidays, one bonus round and each other’s birthday. Unless of course, their birthdays are on the same day, then it would be twice in one…oh, never mind! All I can say, if you’re married or planning on it mark your calendar…you’re about to get lucky at least 57 times. Oh, boy! On the contrary, the statistic I read on happy couples (married or not) stated they are intimate about 3-4 times a week…with each other. (Geez, did I even need to clarify that?)

Photo: Bob Weil

Well, since it’s Valentine’s Day and you’re feeling lucky. Not to mention horny…oops, I mean ornery, let’s discuss ‘till death do us part.’ Ah…thought that would get your attention. Unfortunately, if you’re unhappily married ‘till death’ seems like forever, doesn’t it? However, if you’re enjoying a blissful relationship with your Valentine you never, ever, ever want it to end. So how do you keep the flames of love burning in each other’s hearts?

For starters, stay poor…seriously. Apparently rich couples fight more. Who knew? Happy couples also give each other back rubs, foot rubs, manis and pedis, facials…oh wait, that’s my list. The point is touch, being one of our love languages, is a major key to a happy relationship and happy couples rub each other’s backs. Dickens, we’re human, touch is a basic human need; right alongside water and air. Even simple acts like hand holding and sitting close to each other create a blissful relationship. It also helps if both of you have a lot in common. Not saying you have to be joined at the hip, but if you two decide to spend the day together then can’t think of a thing to do, chances are you’re probably not getting your 57 times a year either. Jus’ sayin’.

Of course, sex isn’t everything. In fact, nearly half of the happiest couples polled in one survey said that over intimacy and affection, it was communication that kept their relationship thriving; citing how communication plays a major role in their commitment to the relationship. Experts will agree that if two people can’t talk to each with honesty, compassion and caring then there isn’t much of a relationship to begin with because it has nowhere to go without communication.

So what are you basing your Valentine’s Day gift on this year? Is it warm, fuzzy and oozing with love? Or will any ol’ box of chocolates or stuffed animal do? May I suggest, after the lovey-dovey cards have been read and the chocolate treats sampled (because I know you’re going there) sit down with the one you love and have a heart-to-heart. Tell them how much you love them and more importantly why. Dickens, make a list if you need to! Remember, the key ingredient in a successful relationship is communication and not just on Valentine’s Day. Say something loving and kind every day with all sincerity. Have a heart-to-heart often with your love and bask in the warmth of a loving, blissfully happy relationship.


Can you imagine…57 times in one year?

Smile and feel the love!



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