Custom Search





Food-Bowl VII

November 26, 2015

“Welcome back y’all to our seventh annual Turkey Bowl, held in the laid back country style dining of my kitchen. I’m Granny, as most y’all know. Cousin Buzzy usually does this here announcing, exceptin’ he couldn’t make it cuz a sum kinda conflict with da misses. Well pop my corn, Buzzy’s gonna be sorry he missed our special guests this year…real authenified football players too.”

“Now, let’s see’n if I can member names. One calls himself Superman. Across the table from him sat Romo Domo. Now, I been told them’s two are quarterbacking cuz they gotsta git to another game in a few hours. Well, dagnabbit! I ain’t worried about that, these here vittles ain’t gonna put themselves away! That’s why we play foodball between the Turkeys and Pilgrims after we chow down and set my dining room back ta rights. Now before we commence I need to mention the other special guests. There’s Prime Time, Diesel, Bo Knows and one gent who calls himself The Fridge. Shoot fire, he’s as big as a fridge too. They all is! He-he”

“In fact, these boys are so big I might jus git ‘em to move my grand pianer after theys done playing wit the leftovers. Huh? What? Y’all ready for me to start yappin’ ‘bout what’s happenin’? Well, don’t git yer britches in a wad I’m teetering on ready…jest need to…Dab-nabbit, where’s my glasses!”

“Right here, Granny.”

“Thank ya, youngin. Now, where’s my teeth?”

“You have them in, Granny.”

“Oh, he-he, so I do. Well then whach’all waiting fer. Play ball!”

“Holy smokes! Superman went straight fer da Butterball! He’s gonna carry the blasted thang himself. LOOK OUT! Ole Blue, just walked onto da linoleum…well, butter my biscuits…Superman hurdled dat flea bitten hound. TOUCHDOWN! I declare, the Pilgrims just scored. Oh my, what’s he doing now? It…it…looks like some kinda jig. Is that allowed? Huh? It’s called excessive celebration. My bunions it is! Ya best not be knockin’ dem teapots off da Hoosier, I’ll tan yer excessive celebratin’ hide!”

“Sumbody give me a dish rag. What? No, I don’t need a nap. I’m jest gonna sit here, drink my tonic and announce. But if one mer of ya dance the jig I’m penalizing the whole bunch of yuns.”

“Yes, Granny.”

“Alrighty then, y’all Pilgrims and Turkeys do yer lining up thang agin, we’s playin’ ball.”

“Hot diggity, little Billy snatched da gravy boat and lit outta dare b’fer anyone seen him. I think they call that a sneaky play. Oh my, he’s makin’ a bee line for da fridge. Well, shut my pie hole…The Fridge seen da little feller and scooped him up b’fer Bo Knows could tackle him. Prime Time is closing in but he’s taken out by Diesel! Well, bust my buttons…they’re gonna score! It’s a Turkey Touchdown folks! The score is tied, 7-7.”

“Looky dare, Cousin Ed grabbed the mashed taters and he’s…oh my, Aunt Aggie jest tackled him. Fumble! I suppose we’ll be taking a recess to scrub spuds offin’ da floor. Huh? It’s called ‘time out’. I don’t care what’cha call it! Them spuds best come off’n my new ‘noleum. Shoot fire in da hole, I’ve had enough…where’s my tonic? I need my nap…”

“Um…hello, is this thing on? Testing…one…two. Um...okay…Aunt Fannie here and I’ll pick up where Granny left off. We’ve just come back from a short timeout. The score is tied and it looks like the Turkeys and Pilgrims are lining up for the start of the third quarter. So far it’s been an exciting first half; however, it’s dessert time. Cousin Sally took things out-of-bounds with her amazing Cherry Yum Yum; a big hit with the professional players. Meanwhile, Aunt Aggie’s Apple Pie was well received by the home team.”

“A hush falls over the room as we wait to see which dessert is chosen first. Wow, Superman grabbed the Pumpkin Pie and he’s running out the door. Oh my, Romo Domo is hot on his trail. Well, I do declare. It looks like those gentlemen need to get back to their own game today. I’m not sure who will win but it looks like Superman is already giving Romo Domo a run for his money. Thanks to Granny’s homemade, secret recipe Pumpkin Pie!”

“Happy Thanksgiving everyone!”

Can you imagine…who’s gonna move Granny’s piano?

Smile, it’s always a win-win kind of day!



Woo-Hoo! Front Row Birthday

Jessica’s Journey

Three Hour Tour

Ghostly Love Story

Birthday Boys

Word Up

A Bone To Pick

The Hammock Incident!

Would You Like Happiness With That?

Double Mint Twins

Express Yourself

Full Circle

One Door Closes

My Other Sock

Getting Down, Uptown

Love Is In The Air


Losing At Winning

Discovering Dreams

I Unfriend You

Death By Convenience

Polish, Buff, Shine

A Very Equestrian Christmas

A Christmas Love Story


The Movie Move

Happy Thanksgiving Day!

Not Me!

Birthday Wisdom

Accept It, Return It


Hard Hat, Soft Hat

Dear ol’ Dad


Upon A Star

Shine On


Door #2

Sleepover Summer

Small Town, Big Memories

Still Waters Run Deep

Five More Minutes

Woo-hoo, Summer!

Egg McBunnies

A Simple Request

If Animals Can...

Flip vs. Mini

Got Crutches?

Spring Forward

Compromise vs. Control

Better, Not Bitter

Ladybug Wishes

Heart To Heart

Eye To Eye

Make A Wish

Who Would Have Thunk It?

The Gift Of Time


Princess Kuechly

New Year, New Direction,New Life

A Very Swiney Christmas

Reason For The Season!

Fur Was Flying

No, Thank You

The Next Step You Take

Birthday Fantasy Fairy

Time Travelers

Pumpkin Patch Kids

Calling All Volunteers!


Traveling Grandmas

Back In The Saddle

Just What You Need

Confessions Of A Plant-a-holic

My Zany Life


Soggy Summer

Summer Break

In Their Shoes

Where’s The Heat?

Mom’s Rocking Chair

Plan B

Whoosh Happens

Perfect Day

The Classics

Little Dreamers

Self-help vs. Help Ourselves

Biological Clock

Dust Bunnies Beware

The Greatest Tea Party

Tropical Breezes

The Synonym of Melanie

The Greatest Love Story

Hug Hair




BannerEventAd-01.jpg   fanjoylabrenz.jpg

PO Box 1721 | Hickory, NC 28603 | 828.322.1036 | Office Hours: Mon. - Fri. 9am - 5pm |

Home • Reviews: MoviesAdam Long • Editorials: FocusHave Chainsaw Will TravelSid On SportsBobbi GSara MawyerPeople PicturesPlaces/PeopleExtra Events Listing
Out Of Focus • News: Local NewsNational NewsHoroscopes • Info/Links: Staff/ContributorsList Of AdvertisersOnline AdvertisingOnline ClassifiedsContact UsFocus BLOGStoreLinks

© 1978 - 2018 Tucker Productions, Inc.