THE TRANQUIL CHAINSAW

March 11, 2010

There comes a point in every relationship where the ability to compromise plays a large factor in the success or failure of said relationship. Such an issue arose with my recently acquired fiancé. You see Lil Red (that would be the fiancé) is a non-practicing Buddhist, and though she is “non-practicing” she still abides by the basic principles of Buddhism. Buddhism is in essence, the realization of the world around you, your effect on it, and becoming one with it. Living in harmony with the natural world and finding balance within it. It is accepting all things, especially yourself, and discovering your inner peace. Myself, well, I am a practicing Atheist. Atheism is pretty much not giving a happy s*** about anything. You can see where there might be issues.
So to compromise, I intend to tone down the violent nature, tune out the negativity, and allot myself some enlightenment… you can stop laughing now. To be honest, and more or less realistic, going from a psychotic state of mind to a state of Zen isn’t something one accomplishes overnight. So we’ll start out small, not so much with major changes, but with the way we view things in general.

Chainsaw’s Basic Guide to Non-violent Enlightenment, Inner Peace and Stuff
1. Stop overanalyzing everything and making problems out of minor issues. Change the things you can, accept the things you cannot, and remember you can always kill it later, if it doesn’t work out.

2. Stop setting tasks and goals for yourself. Take a moment to take a little pride in what you’ve already accomplished.

3. Don’t yell at traffic, or at crappy drivers. They can’t hear you anyway.

4. Enjoy the drive home from work, make it a relaxing wind-down time so you don’t bring a bad work-day home.

5. Put a hammock in your living room. You’d be surprised how mellow that bizarrity makes you feel.

6. Try to be considerate of others even if they are wrong, and their opinions are stupid.

7. Smile and nod when dealing with people that grate on your nerves.

8. Don’t think of each moment as your last, but enjoy it as if it were. You think about it and your last moment will come from a stress induced heart-attack.

9. Change up your daily routine a bit, it breaks the monotony of those seemingly endless weekdays.

10. Flush! Just remember- that’s less s*** you’ll have in your life.

11. Pick a night of the week to go to bed early and let chores and duties be damned.

12. Spend more time with those you love and less time worrying about who loves you.

13. Don’t sweat the small stuff. You will find, in time, that it is all small stuff.

14. Don’t vegetate in front of the television. Use that TV time to chat with your loved ones and get to know the people you live with better than the ones on that sitcom.

15. Walk away when you get overly aggravated at something or someone. A few moments away from a problem will help you to see it more clearly.

16. Don’t hit or break things when you get upset.

17. Don’t hit or break people when you get upset.

18. Try not to get upset so easily.

19. Rest assured that there will be a time, and a place, when the need for your violent temperament will come into play… just not all the time.

I welcome almost all questions and comments via Focus, or e-mail me at
chainsawo53@aol.com. Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused! See ya.