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We Are All Immortal...

At Least Until We Die

June 11, 2015

Ever notice when you’re at a funeral that…no wait…that intro line sounds way too casual for such sensitive subject matter. It insinuates that attending a funeral is a common, perhaps weekly occurrence and people are just there to hang out. Of course as we get older this doesn’t seem so far-fetched. As nature takes its course and family and friends pass on, our funeral attendance is sure to rise. We’ll start seeing old friends on a regular basis. Maybe rekindle those long forgotten friendships. Perhaps even reach a point when asking, “So what are you doing after the grave side service?” doesn’t seem that strange.

Therein lies an interesting idea. Perhaps they should open bars inside of mortuaries. That way mourners could drown their sorrows, share one last round with the deceased (figuratively speaking of course) and the funeral home could make a few extra bucks between burials. If you opened it to the public then funeral attendance would be up. There’d be more mourners, though only half of them would be sober enough to know what they were mourning. But then you’d have people passing out drunk in coffins and getting buried alive (Hangover 4 plot?) and karaoke night would be kind of awkward. So maybe that’s not such a great idea. Where in the hell am I going with this? Completely off subject as usual…sigh. Let’s back this up a bit.

A funeral is a time for reverence and silence. Nothing need be said. Everyone knows why they’re there. Just presence is enough to show comfort and support for those in mourning. Yet many feel the need to verbally emote their sympathies for surviving family members. This, too, can be welcome and comforting, but the honest truth is that 90% of spoken condolences fall upon deaf ears. When a person is truly wrapped up in the passage of another it all turns into a droning mumble, accented with “I’m sorry.” Yet there are two phrases that turn up time and time again that when truly considered, are either highly insightful or insane.

“It was God’s will.” This one usually comes out when concerning the death of a younger person. It’s a nice sentiment putting a divine reason behind an untimely passage or it provides someone to blame, depending on how you look at it. But seriously, “God’s will”? That brings into question the motives of any divine entity. An infant is murdered by a drunken step-parent because it won’t stop crying, God’s will? A toddler is hit by a speeding car because they didn’t know to look both ways…or the driver was texting, God’s will? A teenager is foolishly doing 120mph on a crotch-rocket at night and rounds a curve into a Farm-all Harvester—stupidity or…God’s will?

Personally I don’t put too much stock in there actually being a God. But I’d like to think that if there is a God that it would never be “their will” for innocents to suffer or perish. Perhaps people attribute certain events to being the “will of God” so they don’t have to acknowledge the ignorance and evil that is mankind?

“It was their time.” This phrase is oft attributed the passage of an older person. (You could use it for a younger person but to think that someone’s time is up at the age of 5 is kind of scary.) Still it makes a lot more sense than the latter. Besides the idea that we are allotted a preset amount of time and that our final destination is predestined to occur at a specific moment, makes for interesting considerations (not to mention movie franchises). So if that concept were true would that not mean we are immortal until we die?

Technically, we already are, but could we do whatever dangerous thing we wanted without fear of death until our time was up? Of course, we’d need to know when our time was going to be up in order to explore and exploit this. That would actually be kind of a bummer—to know from the time you were born when you were going to die. Wait, if you knew, couldn’t you just avoid it? No probably not because that whole predestined thing would come into play. So if you knew you were going to get hit by a bus and stayed home that day would you just explode in your living room or something? Maybe we could just get a week’s notice. That way you could party, prepare or repent…and then go out with a bang when you exploded all over your friends… yeah…we’re probably better off just leaving it to God’s will.

Questions, comments and column ideas are welcome via through the Focus, or just E-mail me at or you can FRIEND me on Facebook under Saw’s Brood!

Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused. See ya!




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