June 18, 2015
Do you think of them…often? This question is oft posed in reference to the deceased and the inquiry made (in most cases) for three specific reasons. They’re either wondering if they’ll ever forget or be forever haunted by thoughts of the deceased. Or maybe they question if there truly is a type of immortality that can be achieved by living on in the memory of others. Or perhaps they themselves can’t stop thinking about a lost loved one and want to make sure it’s normal. Well here at HCSAWWT we don’t exactly do “normal” so sorry we can’t help you out.
Right now a lot of you are thinking, “WTF Sawman? What does this have to do with Father’s Day?” Well it’s very simple; my own father has spent the last four Father’s Days below ground. Do you think of him…often? Yes, thoughts of this man, (some sweet some bitter), traverse past my mind’s eye almost every day.
So how do you celebrate Father’s Day when you don’t have one? That’s easy. I don’t. One of the things my male parental figure instilled in me was to not waste time and never waste money. Driving to a cemetery to leave cards and flowers, at a marker which lies above a soulless shell, seems a terrible waste of both. Some would argue and whether it is from guilt, obligation or sorrow, feel the need to carry out a traditional yearly ritual. There’s nothing wrong with that, to each their own. Personally, I have never celebrated Father’s Day even when mine was alive because I never considered him my father. To me he was Dad.
The old saying goes, “Anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a Dad!” This still holds very true. Any idiot with a can fire off that lucky sperm that is the seed of life and “father” a child. But to stick around after the fact, to play a part in raising and nurturing the life they’ve helped create…that takes something special.
Of course in our modern, bleeding heart society we love to celebrate mediocrity. “Oh lookie you made a baby! That instantly entitles you to being a great Daddy!” No it doesn’t and if you believe that you’re dumb! Screw your simple ability to procreate; it doesn’t make you special or great in anyway. Now let’s look at some realistic requirements to truly earning the title of “Dad.”
Protector: First and foremost you must be able to protect your children. Because if you don’t protect them, then there won’t be any and you don’t get to be a Dad. As a Dad you must be observant, diligent and fast. How can you spot a rabid chicken that may harm your kid if you’re staring at your cell phone? How can you catch them before they run into the street if you’re completely out of shape? You might die of a heart attack before they can get hit by a car.
Provider: A roof over their heads, clothes on their backs and food in their bellies. These are the basics but providing a sense of security and stability are also necessary. A steady income and home are important needs for a child’s psychological growth. If you can’t hold down a job and pay the bills you probably shouldn’t be having kids.
Teacher: Yes, they’ll have those in school but as a Dad, you and Mom will be their first. Taking the time to let them know that learning new things is important and fun will benefit them, not only in school but on the long hard road of life ahead.
Example: You have to show your son how to be a man before he can be a Dad. He will initially be a mini-mirror version of you. You have to be able to show your daughter how she should expect to be treated by a man and how to respect herself by respecting her. Remember- a little girl’s first true love will be her Daddy.
Friend: Though this role will change as they grow older you will be your child’s first friend. It’s important to let them know it’s OK to play and be happy to imagine and explore. You have to bring yourself to their level and grow with them so nothing they do is ever foolish or stupid in your eyes.
Take these things, mix in lots of love and a heavy dose of patience and you might just be a Dad.
In closing we’d like to wish all you “fathers” a Happy Father’s Day. You can have the day and we’ll just celebrate Dads year round.
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Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused. See ya!