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Chainsaw’s Guide To

“Fun”damental Gun Safety

September 10, 2015

Several weeks ago we discussed my acquisition of a Smith & Wesson .38 Special. We went over the pros and cons of owning a gun and came to a stalemate. As it turns out there are an equal amount of good as well as bad reasons when it comes to owning a firearm.

Whichever side of the fence you fall on, knowing a little bit about gun safety is important. Because they are everywhere, they are dangerous and they outnumber us. This is why the following week, as a public service, this column showcased CHAINSAW’S HANDY DANDY GUIDE TO HANDGUN SAFETY, in which we attempted to cover all aspects of being safe with guns. However, I was recently informed that certain aspects of certain types of guns safety had been overlooked. Though they had been mentioned in the article it was insisted that, for the sake of the safety of the general public, a second article be produced on the subject. Thus, at the request of you the reader, HCSWT will continue to serve the community and cover the deadly subject of gun safety with...

Chainsaw’s Playful Guide to Toy Gun Safety:

To begin let’s first establish exactly what a “toy gun” is. Most toy guns look very similar to the real thing. Some come with sound effects chips or are set to make realistic sounds when fired. Some use caps loaded with a minute amount of gunpowder to produce a bang when fired. Some don’t do anything and rely on the triggerman to yell “BANG BANG” at the appropriate time. If a gun fires any type of metal or sharp projectile it does not qualify as a toy. This excludes BB guns, pellet guns, dart guns, paintball guns and CO2 powered firearms from the toy guns registry. Besides, you’ll shoot your eye out!

The exception to the no-projectile rule is Nerf guns which fire soft projectiles and are spring or air powered. However these can still be deadly. Do not shoot someone, especially yourself, in the eyeball with a Nerf gun. Do not shoot a Nerf gun into yours or anyone else’s mouth. Do not eat projectiles fired from a Nerf gun that go into your mouth. You might get them down, but getting them out the other end will be uncomfortable.

As far as other toy guns go…Do not remove the orange plastic end. This lets others know it is just a toy. Do not point a toy gun at a police officer, or anyone else for that matter. Unless of course you are playing guns with friends and then it’s debatable whether or not that’s OK based on the moral standards on which you were raised. Do not throw a toy gun at people. It then becomes a projectile and qualifies as a real weapon. Do not pistol whip anyone with your toy gun. Most are made of plastic and it will break and you will have no gun to play guns with if you are allowed to do so.

Chainsaw’s Wet & Wild Guide to Water Gun Safety:

Water guns also fall into the class of being toy guns. They actually do fire but because they fire water, which is not considered a deadly projectile, they fall into a category all their own. Do not shoot people in the eyes with a water gun…it stings. Do not load a water gun with anything other than water. Acid will eat through the plastic before you can take aim. Urine can be fired but will eventually clog and ruin the gun. Do not try to turn a water gun into a fire gun by loading it with lighter fluid. The gun will melt and/or explode. Do not leave a water gun floating in the pool. Someone may jump in…land on your gun…and then they’ll have to buy you a new one. Always empty your gun before storage, especially if you loaded it with pee. Do not hit or throw your water gun at people (see toy gun safety paragraph two, line nine, for reason). Do not shoot your water gun into your butt, it can work like an enema and you may make a poop involuntary… unless you enjoy that sort of thing. Regardless of whether it’s real, toy or water, remember to respect any and all firearms. They can all be fun but they can also be deadly.

Happy Birthday- Just thought I’d take a moment to wish my photographer, beautiful BFF and soulmate a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I love ya babe!

Hope to hear from ya until then try and stay focused. See ya.

Questions, comments and column ideas are welcome via through the Focus, or just E-mail me at or you can FRIEND me on Facebook under Saw’s Brood!

Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused. See ya!




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