Custom Search




tel:18003484095

banner3

banner3

banner2


Happy Hellidays

A special hate the holidays rant

December 10, 2015

In last week’s article we briefly mentioned the “Bah-Humbug Movement,” one of the numerous (unofficial) titles for a relatively new and rapidly spreading holiday trend. It has apparently become rather chic in recent years to have a Grinch styled attitude towards all things yuletide. The general premise of participating in this “movement” is that when taking part in or even discussing any holiday function with family, friends, co-workers or even casual strangers you adopt a rather Scrooge-like frame of mind. (This would refer to the mean a-hole version of Scrooge at the beginning of Charles Dickens classic A Christmas Carol. Not the nice one at the end that sends the street urchin off to buy a big turkey.) The concept is to view all the joy and happiness of the holidays with a scowling negativity and openly expressing a dislike towards all the Christmassy stuff.

Well now isn’t that cute? Pretending to be miserably disgruntled and ruining everyone else’s good cheer…for what? For the sake of being an ass? Given, some will pretend to pretend to be anti-X-mas (was that a double-double negative?) for humor’s sake. They’ll joke around about disliking the holidays with a smile on their faces, indirectly adding to the festive cheer.

Then there are others… Yeah the others, who in our modern self-centered society will go out of their way to make sure all attention is on them and their despondent dislike of…hey whatever and screw you. We’re not gonna waste another word on you pretend, wannabe haters. Not even going to acknowledge your pathetic attempt to act like you hate the holidays. Besides it’s an insult to those of us who do. One of the things I hate most about the holidays is people who pretend to hate the holidays...and here we go…

I hate the droning bell ringing at every storefront. I know it’s for a good cause and I support that (give generously) but couldn’t they play a ukulele or sing or something? Or they could just stand there? We all know what the blood red buckets are for. I hate people who just stand there… in the store aisles. I hate that they can’t decide which gift to buy. I hate people who don’t plan ahead before they go into a store to Christmas shop. I hate Christmas shopping. I hate being stuck in crowds of people who have no idea what they’re doing. I do not enjoy public restrooms during this time of year. I hate inflatable yard decorations: put a Santa hat on anything and put air in it and BAM—holiday yard décor. If you’re wondering how we went from restrooms to inflatables…I hate that you don’t see the connection.

I hate mixed holiday lawn décor themes. Santa’s on the roof, Jesus is in the yard and a ten foot tall inflatable Homer Simpson (with a Santa hat) that looks like he’s attacking your house. I hate mixed martial arts. It’s just making things up as you go! I hate inflatable Gingerbread Ninjas…yes they do exist…yes they are stupid and yes I hate them! I hate people who can’t bake who think they can bake at Christmas. I hate hard, burnt, sort-of star shaped cookies. I hate receiving these as gifts. Giving food as gifts is stupid…unless you’re hungry. I hate The Hunger Games. Nobody in those movies looks remotely hungry at all.

I hate people who force small children to sit on Santa’s lap, “Oh how precious, look at the way she’s screaming. She looks positively terrified… Awww!” I hate unruly children whose parents have given up on controlling them. Actually maybe hating crappy parenting skills makes more sense. I hate not knowing till X-mas morning if you’ve gotten someone a “good” gift. I hate people who fake liking a bad gift. I hate giving bad gifts. I hate…that since my grandson has come to live with us I’m finding less to hate about the holidays. I hate that I’m spending less time hating them and more time finding the joy for him…I hate to say it but I think I’m done hating…for now.

I welcome almost all questions and comments via FOCUS, or email me at wanderingchainsaw@gmail.com or you can FRIEND me on Facebook under Saw’s Brood!

Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused. See ya!

 

 

ARCHIVES:

Tis The Season

Franks-GIVING

Memoir From The Soviet Union

The Incredible BULK

Requiem For A Deer

Hell-O-Ween 2015 Chainsaw vs The Devil

Hell-O-Ween 2015: Trick or Treating With John Q

Hell-o-ween 2015 Trap Door To Hell

Hell-O-Ween 2015 The Absence of Light

HELL-O-WEEN 2015 • There is nothing to fear but fear itself? Actually, there’s way more!

Gone Squirrelly

Close In-Counter The Crooked Man

Chainsaw’s Guide To“Fun”damental Gun Safety

Older And...Wiser?

So...You Want Me To Put It... On The Dash?

Acts Of Lethargy

High Noon In The TempleOf The One-Eyed God

What’s Wrong With This Picture?

A Part Apart

Chainsaw’s Guide To Handgun Safety

.38 Special

Littering In Review!

5

Preparing To Alienate Yourself

Father’s Day?

We Are All Immortal... At Least Until We Die

Boggin Me Down

Comic Relief

5 Minutes Later...

Godzilla Was Misunderstood

Happy Bunnies’ Last Stand! Or, The Rise Of The Content And Yet Paranoid Squirrels!

Smurf The Whole Day Through!

Running With Scissors

Back In 5 Minutes...

We’re All Mad Here!

Building Up To It

Graveside Trivia With Frank

Before You Can Begin Sifting Through The Ashes

Daylight WASTE Of Time

Just Thinking Out Loud Here

There’s Bacon Loose In The Freezer

Stop Thinking Like A People

Sit, Roll Over, Play Dead...Now, Reanimate

Of Chainsaws And Puppy Paws

Cult Classic Or Pop Culture Corpses

A Chainsaw Classic:Exhaustipated

Living Within The Sliding Puzzle

Resolutions In Higher Resolutions

2015 As It Falls Apart

It’s A Wonderful Life?

How The Grinch Didn’t Bother Stealing Christmas

Room To Move: A Christmas Story

10 Uncomfortable Questions

Thanks...For Nothing

All In Due-Over Time

Stuff To Give Thanks For, Because After All, It’s Thanksgiving

30 Days

Hell-o-ween 4 Do You Believe In Ghosts?

Hell-O-Ween 3: Suburban Legends

Hell-O-Ween 2 The Bloody ‘55

Hell-O-Ween - There Is Nothing To Fear But FearItself...And Low-Flying Ducks!

Why Would You Want To Catch A Cold?

Technologically AdvancedOr Obsessed?

The Chainsaw Hard Drive

Of The Apes

I Don’t Know...What Do You Wanna Do?

And Then...One Year Later...

Is It Hopeless Or Should We Hope Less

Are There Alternate Realities?

Questionable Perception

Literally Speaking

He’s In The Closet

The Eclector

Littering Is Delusional!

Sis Boom BAH

Fear...Of The Bat!

CLOSED The Road To Imagination

Toy Box Terrors

Fire Trucks, Some Fencing And A Potential Kazoo

Grasping For A Gasp

Commercial Messages

Lilies Considered

The Passage Of Furry Little People

Broken Conversation Pieces

Momentary Lapse Of Realization

During The Zombie Apocalypse

And You Can Drive It Off The Lot...TODAY!!!

Th-th-that’s Not All, Folks!

Relation Termination

Bound & Determined

Waste of Saving Time

They Oft Go Awry

SELF LAMBASTING

Mud and Memories

The Devil Came Down, Part 2

The Devil Came Down

Chainsaw’s Random Trivia Tidbits Or Useless Crap You Probably Don’t Know

Undead Offensive

Estranged Stranger

The Wee-wee Hours Of The Morning

Trying To Stay Focused

Annual Demise

‘Twas The Night Before Santa Claus Was Coming To Town!

Slay Bells Ring

Embracing The Holidays...In A Strangle Hold!

The TRUTH About Thanksgiving!

Stuff To Be Thankful For, Because After All, It Is Thanksgiving

Used Children

Primitive Mind Set

HELL-O-WEEN 4 THERE IS NOTHING TO FEAR BUT FEAR ITSELF…AND BIGFOOT WITH HERPES!

HELL-O-WEEN 3: Co$tumes

HELL-O-WEEN 2 Is It The Devil’s Holiday?

Helloween Left In The Dark

To The Naked Eye

Something Else

Trivia To Soothe The Savages

MOTOSIERRA, SCIE à CHAîNE, ??????, ERRA ELéTRICA, Αλυσοπρ?ονο, CHAINSAW

For Decades

Lights... Camera... Distraction

Webster’s DictionaryThe Chainsaw Edition Vol. 2

Webster’s Dictionary THE CHAINSAW EDITION, Vol. 1

You Only Get One

Picture Imperfect

Can You Imagine Dragons?

Putting The ‘Itch’ In

Grow Up!!!

Night of the Living Dead...Alligators?

Littering Is Still Bad!!!

Zoo-Illogical

Bulimic Nation

Warning: This Article May Contain Nuts!

Distractions

A Better Mousetrap

A Little Soul-Rending

Life

The Battle En...Shoes?

Americana Forgotten! A Train Of Thought Ride

The Evil Dead

Shooting From The Hip

Reminiscing A Dump...Truck

Another Good Friday

Political Race...ism?

Seven Stages

The Joke

THE BEAR AND I Part 2: RETURN OF THE Q!

The Bear And I

Scouting It Out

Chainsaw’s Dating Guide


 

 

 

 

fanjoylabrenz.jpg   fanjoylabrenz.jpg

PO Box 1721 | Hickory, NC 28603 | 828.322.1036 | Office Hours: Mon. - Fri. 9am - 5pm | focusnews@centurylink.net

Home • Reviews: MoviesAdam Long • Editorials: FocusHave Chainsaw Will TravelSid On SportsBobbi GSara MawyerPeople PicturesPlaces/PeopleExtra Events Listing
Out Of Focus • News: Local NewsNational NewsHoroscopes • Info/Links: Staff/ContributorsList Of AdvertisersOnline AdvertisingOnline ClassifiedsContact UsFocus BLOGStoreLinks

© 1978 - 2017 Tucker Productions, Inc.