January 7, 2016
It was brought to my attention that with all the artistic styling of last week’s article I neglected to wish you, oh loyal reader (or random personage, I’m not picky) a Happy New Year. So without further ado- HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! So how’s the New Year treating you thus far? Have the past seven days been to your liking? Well that’s wonderful …or terrible… or whatever response works for your current situation and state of mental well-being. So have you made any resolutions? Have you broken them already?
How’s the “giving up smoking” thing working out for you? Did it last until you encountered your first stressful situation? Did you decide to hold onto a pack of coffin nails so you’d have them on hand “just in case”? Because having temptation readily available is always a good idea. Maybe you just forgot and lit up out of habit? Ya know smoking one, just to take the edge off, means you’ve failed. But hey it’s OK, nobody likes a quitter, right? Or maybe you prefer to take your nerve settling addiction in liquid form.
Speaking of which, how are those Triple A meetings going? Do they really have coffee and little snacks or is that just in the movies? Have you…huh…oh wait let me check. Oops, my mistake - it’s AA, but I guess after a few drinks the number of As’ would probably be irrelevant. They probably call it AA because calling it double A would indicate a battery addiction. What in hell are we talking about here? Oh yeah—how’s the wagon ride going? Did you pour it all down the sink and smash the bottles proclaiming “never again”? Well, all but one, which you have stashed right next to your “last pack” of smokes. Both of these tucked safely away behind that big bag of powdered doughnuts.
By the way, how about that new diet and exercise program? Ya know you can’t have one without the other… a doctor will tell you that s***. So are you on the one or two week plan? That being how long it takes before you realize it’s a lifestyle change and way too hard. You could join a gym but then a whole new group of people would know it when you failed. Besides, you’d probably rather do the “in home” thing, right? You got a great deal on a treadmill and a stationary bike? Yeah those are great to hang clothes on and an awesome place to put your shoes when you vacuum. But you’ll get around to it right…right? Oh who are we kidding? Grab those doughnuts, wash ’em down with a swig of rum and make sure they have that crisp smoky flavor.
While you’re enjoying breakfast you can plan what to say to your soon to be ex. Oh yeah, you have so had it with their BS and you’ve resolved to end this torrid nightmare once and for all. Just like you did at Xmas… and Thanksgiving… and Halloween… there’s a pattern here. Just wait for the Valentine’s Day reboot. Well, at least you’ll be rid of the other people that are holding you down… eventually. Hey there’s always hope you’ll improve your quality of life by resolving to enjoy the little things and not let the weight of the world weigh you down. And all you need is the added stress of a deadline to truly accomplish that goal? Face it, if your life is going to get any better it’s not going to just because you said so.
Now we’re not trying to belittle anyone’s attempts to better themselves. By all means, have at it, and all the luck in the world to you. But seriously, if you’re really serious about a lifestyle change, it’ll happen when you’re ready for it to happen. There is no special time or magical date that will insure victory. The starting point for self-improvement is the moment you truly decide to commit to it. However, it doesn’t actually begin until you act upon it. And then… well… keep acting. Not in the sense of pretending, because if you’re just pretending then you’re only fooling yourself.
I welcome almost all questions and comments via FOCUS, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or you can FRIEND me on Facebook under Saw’s Brood!
Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused. See ya!