Custom Search





Tis The Wink Of A Breath

July 21, 2016

The box-fan idles on its medium setting, slowly vibrating itself across the coffee table’s polished wooden surface. Every so often it must be reset into place or it will throw itself into a buzzing tantrum on the living room floor. This may be why his wife forbids it being placed there. His stocking feet are propped in front of the fans whirling blades, another cardinal sin according to his spouse. But she is currently away on an impromptu shopping trip with the boys, and what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

Aside from the drone of the fan the house is silent. Thus he finds himself engrossed in the condensed works of H.P. Lovecraft, Chapter15, page 331, Herbert West­-Reanimator. He’s seen the movie, never realizing it was based on a literary work of classic horror. The back door opens quietly. Are they back already? A glance at the wall clock tells him it’s too early for that, they’ve only just left. Most likely something was forgotten and they’ve returned to retrieve. He fingers the book and goes to intercept.

The two men standing in his kitchen seem equally surprised to see him there. Tragically their reaction time proves much faster as one clubs him with a pistol butt. He goes down to be immediately drug back to his feet with demands of the whereabouts of the valuables, show me the money. He defiantly tells them nothing because there’s nothing to tell. They cite the hedge out front as a sign of wealth and prosperity. He would, through his groggy perception, tell them he had planted that hedge himself. Using young shrubs he had dug up from the nearby woods and nurtured for the past four years. But they already “knew” he’d gotten it whole and hardy from the uppity hedge place, conveniently located between BMW Drive and Bed Bath and Beyond your budget. They can’t shoot him...just yet. So they toss his barely conscious form into the garage and set off on a treasure hunt. Ironically the book has remained in his grasp until his head makes contact with the concrete floor.

Through the haze he can hear them quietly trashing the house. Drawers pulled, closets riffled through, change tossed from his boys' ruptured pig banks with sounds of disgust. He wonders if they’ve found his revolver yet. More so he considers what ramifications could befall him if said revolver turned up at a crime scene in the future.

A distinct door hinge’s whine tells him that one of them is in his wife’s bathroom. He thinks it odd that even now he thinks of it as “her bathroom”. He has visited her sanctuary on numerous occasions with her none the wiser. It’s nice in there...and air-conditioned. “His bathroom” is tucked in the corner of the garage, just a few feet away. No cool air there but it carries the basic amenities, sink, shower, toilet, a stack of car mags and Readers Digest and a...cordless phone. The rest happened rather quickly.

He pulls himself up to the toilet; 911­—all operators are busy. Stands using the sink for support; 911—all operators are busy. Makes his way to the workbench and... 911—all operators are busy. He eyes the battery powered circular saw while those operators are still busy. “Hello, 911. What is your emergency?” He never hears this because the phone has been dropped in exchange for the power tool. He steps into the garage's doorway...he knows he’s going to die. The man pointing a gun...his gun from the other end of the hall confirms this. There’s a crash from the living room. The gunman is momentarily distracted. He starts to charge and that’s when the airplane crashes through the house obliterating it and his violent visitor. He and the garage are left miraculously untouched and intact.

A thwarted terror attack has brought the plane in for an emergency landing in a neighboring field. His house was simply necessary collateral damage to save the lives of the 127 passengers who all walked away shaken but alive. Ironically the terrorist was gunned downed by the second visitor as he tried to escape the scene. Later the thief turned national treasure would tell the evening news he just happened to be at the right place at the right time.

The homeowner looks to the plane resting across the street. He hears shouts and gunfire. He sees people exiting the plane via inflatable slide. Gathering his book he goes into “his bathroom” or rather “the bathroom” since it’s the only one now. He sits placidly down to familiar comforts and waits for the sirens to arrive.

I welcome almost all questions and comments via FOCUS, or email me at or you can FRIEND me on Facebook under Saw’s Brood!

Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused. See ya!




A Darker Shade Of Summertime Blue

Still Littering?

H2-Oh How Fire Works

Pessimistic Optimism


The Pover-Ties That Bind

Zombisaurus Rex

Apocalypse...right now? Congratulations, You’ve Survived The Apocalypse!

Where The Wild Things Were

A Hundred Thousand To One,& Eleven Things I Will Never Write

Selfie-Centered Society


Who Paints The Hammers?

Open For Interpretation


FUN TYme ? of TRiViAL! wiF John Q.

I Ain’t Afraid Of No Ghost... Busters...Remake?

Springing Forward To The Past

Remember: ‘Funeral’ Starts With FU!

Deadpool Vs. Chainsaw

Revealed Carry

One Man’s Trash Is Another Man’s Trash...But Sometimes It’s Collectable Trash

Timeless Testing

Definitively Undead

Do You Want To Psychologically Deconstruct A Snowman?

powerBALL $1.5 Billion You’ll Never See, or A Really Powerful Ball

Heading For A Eulogy

Resolution Resolvent

Wondering Around Wandering


The GHOSTS Of Christmas Present

Happy Hellidays A special hate the holidays rant

Tis The Season


Memoir From The Soviet Union

The Incredible BULK

Requiem For A Deer

Hell-O-Ween 2015 Chainsaw vs The Devil

Hell-O-Ween 2015: Trick or Treating With John Q

Hell-o-ween 2015 Trap Door To Hell

Hell-O-Ween 2015 The Absence of Light

HELL-O-WEEN 2015 • There is nothing to fear but fear itself? Actually, there’s way more!

Gone Squirrelly

Close In-Counter The Crooked Man

Chainsaw’s Guide To“Fun”damental Gun Safety

Older And...Wiser?

So...You Want Me To Put It... On The Dash?

Acts Of Lethargy

High Noon In The TempleOf The One-Eyed God

What’s Wrong With This Picture?

A Part Apart

Chainsaw’s Guide To Handgun Safety

.38 Special

Littering In Review!


Preparing To Alienate Yourself

Father’s Day?

We Are All Immortal... At Least Until We Die

Boggin Me Down

Comic Relief

5 Minutes Later...

Godzilla Was Misunderstood

Happy Bunnies’ Last Stand! Or, The Rise Of The Content And Yet Paranoid Squirrels!

Smurf The Whole Day Through!

Running With Scissors

Back In 5 Minutes...

We’re All Mad Here!

Building Up To It

Graveside Trivia With Frank

Before You Can Begin Sifting Through The Ashes

Daylight WASTE Of Time

Just Thinking Out Loud Here

There’s Bacon Loose In The Freezer

Stop Thinking Like A People

Sit, Roll Over, Play Dead...Now, Reanimate

Of Chainsaws And Puppy Paws

Cult Classic Or Pop Culture Corpses

A Chainsaw Classic:Exhaustipated

Living Within The Sliding Puzzle

Resolutions In Higher Resolutions

2015 As It Falls Apart

It’s A Wonderful Life?

How The Grinch Didn’t Bother Stealing Christmas

Room To Move: A Christmas Story

10 Uncomfortable Questions

Thanks...For Nothing

All In Due-Over Time

Stuff To Give Thanks For, Because After All, It’s Thanksgiving

30 Days

Hell-o-ween 4 Do You Believe In Ghosts?

Hell-O-Ween 3: Suburban Legends

Hell-O-Ween 2 The Bloody ‘55

Hell-O-Ween - There Is Nothing To Fear But FearItself...And Low-Flying Ducks!

Why Would You Want To Catch A Cold?

Technologically AdvancedOr Obsessed?

The Chainsaw Hard Drive

Of The Apes

I Don’t Know...What Do You Wanna Do?

And Then...One Year Later...

Is It Hopeless Or Should We Hope Less

Are There Alternate Realities?

Questionable Perception

Literally Speaking

He’s In The Closet

The Eclector

Littering Is Delusional!

Sis Boom BAH

Fear...Of The Bat!

CLOSED The Road To Imagination

Toy Box Terrors

Fire Trucks, Some Fencing And A Potential Kazoo

Grasping For A Gasp

Commercial Messages

Lilies Considered

The Passage Of Furry Little People

Broken Conversation Pieces

Momentary Lapse Of Realization

During The Zombie Apocalypse

And You Can Drive It Off The Lot...TODAY!!!

Th-th-that’s Not All, Folks!

Relation Termination

Bound & Determined

Waste of Saving Time

They Oft Go Awry


Mud and Memories

The Devil Came Down, Part 2

The Devil Came Down

Chainsaw’s Random Trivia Tidbits Or Useless Crap You Probably Don’t Know

Undead Offensive

Estranged Stranger

The Wee-wee Hours Of The Morning

Trying To Stay Focused

Annual Demise

‘Twas The Night Before Santa Claus Was Coming To Town!

Slay Bells Ring

Embracing The Holidays...In A Strangle Hold!

The TRUTH About Thanksgiving!

Stuff To Be Thankful For, Because After All, It Is Thanksgiving

Used Children

Primitive Mind Set


HELL-O-WEEN 3: Co$tumes

HELL-O-WEEN 2 Is It The Devil’s Holiday?

Helloween Left In The Dark

To The Naked Eye

Something Else

Trivia To Soothe The Savages


For Decades

Lights... Camera... Distraction

Webster’s DictionaryThe Chainsaw Edition Vol. 2

Webster’s Dictionary THE CHAINSAW EDITION, Vol. 1

You Only Get One

Picture Imperfect

Can You Imagine Dragons?

Putting The ‘Itch’ In

Grow Up!!!

Night of the Living Dead...Alligators?

Littering Is Still Bad!!!


Bulimic Nation

Warning: This Article May Contain Nuts!


A Better Mousetrap

A Little Soul-Rending


The Battle En...Shoes?

Americana Forgotten! A Train Of Thought Ride

The Evil Dead

Shooting From The Hip

Reminiscing A Dump...Truck

Another Good Friday

Political Race...ism?

Seven Stages

The Joke


The Bear And I

Scouting It Out

Chainsaw’s Dating Guide





BannerEventAd-01.jpg   fanjoylabrenz.jpg

PO Box 1721 | Hickory, NC 28603 | 828.322.1036 | Office Hours: Mon. - Fri. 9am - 5pm |

Home • Reviews: MoviesAdam Long • Editorials: FocusHave Chainsaw Will TravelSid On SportsBobbi GSara MawyerPeople PicturesPlaces/PeopleExtra Events Listing
Out Of Focus • News: Local NewsNational NewsHoroscopes • Info/Links: Staff/ContributorsList Of AdvertisersOnline AdvertisingOnline ClassifiedsContact UsFocus BLOGStoreLinks

© 1978 - 2018 Tucker Productions, Inc.