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Which Came First,

The Rabbit Or The Jew?

April 13, 2017

What exactly in the hell am I looking at here? Across the street there is a dogwood tree in full bloom,with pink blossoms adorning its branches with natural grace and beauty. Brightly colored plastic eggs are strung down from its limbs with fishing line; nothing natural, graceful or beautiful there but very colorful nonetheless. At the base of the tree sits a bright blue, inflatable bunny rabbit with an insanely goofy grin on its face. It has been trussed to the trunk, by the neck, also with fishing line. What does this mean?

According to Christian lore, the dogwood, once a proud and majestic tree, was used in constructing the cross for Christ’s crucifixion (lotta “C” words). After said crucifixion the tree was said to have been cursed by God. This is supposedly why dogwoods are all gnarly and twisted. That makes no sense. Why would a loving creator curse his own creation (incidentally a living thing) for its unwilling participation in this event? It’s not like when they were looking for crucifix wood the dogwoods were like, “Hey cut us down to make torture devices of death. Can’t wait to be cut up and reshaped then have naked people hung on my corpse to die.”

Yeah, when you look at it that way it seems kinda dumb. And now we’re gonna string up eggs and tie plastic rabbits to them? Talk about adding insult to injury… poor trees.

So are you saying you captured the Easter Bunny with this gesture? Is it like a hunting trophy? Do you tie deer you’ve shot to trees in your front yard also? Maybe it’s just holiday decoration… or is it something more profound? Since it is a dogwood, and due to its religious symbolism, are you proclaiming the Easter Bunny as the modern savior of the world? By crucifying its image in place of Christ? Or is this a proclamation of your Christian faith, by symbolically murdering a Pagan holiday icon for your god? Did the rabbit decorate the tree and then commit suicide? Maybe it’s just holiday decorations.

Let’s chase the cut. Every year about this time Christians are up in arms against anything that falls into the “secular” celebration of Easter. So it’s only logical that a reasonable argument be launched in its defense. Since there’re no logically reasoning persons about, I’ll have to do. The Christian community at large (individual opinions may vary) believes and encourages people to celebrate Easter in what they consider a more “traditional” manner. Well, perhaps if there was more than one book in their vast library they would know that “pagan” Easter customs predate Christianity by centuries.

But traditions aside, how exactly does one celebrate a traditional Christian Easter? The entirety of the Christian faith is based on Jesus dying on the cross for the sins of the world and then rising from the grave… which is the Easter story. So how would you celebrate the basis of your faith by rehashing what you should already know because it’s what your belief is founded on? Seems like pointless overkill to be reminded of why you’re there based on the reason you’re there in the first place.

So what do you do? Spend a glorious spring morning (which your god created, by the way) dressed up, indoors and listening to the equivalent of a broken record on repeat. Afterwards maybe gather the kids to watch The Passion of the Christ. Nothing says “Happy Easter” like Mel Gibson’s horrifically bloody graphic vision of a man being beaten, tortured and put to death. “But that’s how it happened!” you argue. So you and Mel were there… taking notes? Hey, afterwards let’s load-up and take the kiddies to the slaughter house and show-em how hamburgers are made… why not… that’s how it happens. Or maybe…

Let’s let the kids dye eggs and see what kind of interesting color combos they can come up with. Then we’ll enjoy the beautiful spring day outside in the nature hiding and hunting for said eggs or maybe some plastic ones with treats inside. Now off to bed early and get right to sleep so the Easter Bunny can fill your basket with candy and toys, or poop pellets if you’re a bad kid. Remember to be careful and not to let your little ones hail Ishtar (a pagan god) when they’re egg hunting. No basket worshipping either. Oh and be wary of them participating in any fertility rites or actions. Because we all know that’s what children think of when exposed to fluffy bunny rabbits and yellow marshmallow peeps.

So basically your choices are (and try to view this from a kid’s perspective) monotonous, ritualistic, silence indoors, or fun outdoor activities with your family and friends? A tortured man with bloody hands and feet who offers you eternal life…when you die (as if any child can grasp that concept) or a fuzzy bunny guy who brings you treats to reward good behavior?

Ya know when you truly think of it, all old school symbolism aside, if there is a God which would he endorse? Personally, I think Jesus and the Bunny would be great pals.

Next week: Is Chainsaw the Anti-Christ and how can we stop him!

I welcome almost all questions and comments via FOCUS, or email me at wanderingchainsaw@gmail.com or you can FRIEND me on Facebook under Saw’s Brood!

Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused. See ya!

 

 

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