Broken Conversation Pieces
May 1, 2014
Whilst talking with a good friend of mine, our conversing took an interesting turn and we began converse on the art of conversation. Or rather, the lack there of. After rattling through the usual subjects—cars, drinking stories, sports, Bigfoot, why squirrels always look like they’re up to something…anyway. As with most guys the subject matter inevitably dwindled down to and zeroed in on women.
Before you go making any assumptions this was not a “boobs and butt comparison” conversation. Nor was it a “let’s b**** about those b****es” type of chat. He needed to talk to somebody about how he and his better-half had nothing to talk about.
The love was still there and he had no doubts about that. They still found each other physically attractive and enjoyed the time they spent and things they did together. The issue was their topics of conversation…there were none. There seemed to be elongated periods of awkward silence. Though they were together often, they scarcely spoke when they were. This, I assured him, wasn’t unusual and at some point in any relationship is a very common concern for most couples.
The truth of the matter is that after the first couple of months in a relationship you know just everything about the other person and they know just about everything about you...except where you hid the bodies. Once you’re past the “get to know you” point the conversations must be sought out and created, rather than read from the pages of your own history. For some people that isn’t so easy, and the silences may grow longer.
So what does this mean? Is the relationship a bust? Is the death of verbalization in relation the beginning of termination? Is cell phone radiation really killing bees across the nation? And the answer to that question (not the bee part) is a resounding …maybe.
Any psychologist, marriage counselor or newspaper advice columnist (not me, this is just s*** I make up and in no way should be considered sound advice) will tell you that communication plays a key roll in any type of relationship. What you do with your mouth when you’re with the person you love is very important…let me rephrase that. Providing oral pleasure to your partner is key in…well now that’s just starting to sound dirty. What you do with your mouth is important, but being able to hold up your end of a conversation is more important. That still doesn’t sound right but you get the idea.
Regardless of how you put it, communication plays an extremely vital role in any union. Even if the sex is great, if you’re not talking then it’s just sex.
Right now, a lot of you are wondering why that would be a problem. Well if that’s all you’re looking for then it’s not. However, if you’re looking for something more you might want to find someone you can talk to before you engage in the horizontal tango. It is a proven fact that you must find something attractive about someone in order to be with them. However, it is also a fact that relationships based solely on physical attraction rarely last.
So what do you do? First you need to determine whether or not it’s an awkward or comfortable silence. If you feel there’s not enough to talk about, try to expand your repertoire of topics to discuss. It takes two to tango but somebody has to take the lead. If this isn’t helpful and it continues to bother you talk to them about it. Then at least you have something to talk about. Just don’t make “not talking” all you talk about or they won’t want to talk to you about talking.
If all else fails there’s always the old fallback of—listen! They might talk to you more if you’d just shut-up.
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Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused. See ya!