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Fire Trucks, Some Fencing

And A Potential Kazoo

June 5, 2014

It is said that children grow up way too fast. My doting grandson, a.k.a. Tot, is a definitive example in the “growing” category. At two years old he’s over three feet tall and weighs in at 53 solid pounds. At this rate by the time he’s 16 he won’t ask to “borrow the car”... he’ll just take it...tucked under his arm. Despite his size he maintains a sweet little-people demeanor. However his size does present some problems...just try picking the kid up. My spouse Lil Red a.k.a. Grammie can barely lift him and my daughter Ash aka Mommy gets exhausted toting him around. This leaves most of the heavy lifting to yours truly, Chainsaw, a.k.a. Pappy. (Maybe this article should have been titled A.K.A.?)

Picking him up? Not an issue. Carrying him around? Not an issue. Putting him into a high sided crib at bedtime? ISSUE! Just imagine trying to carefully lower a sleeping, super-sized Tot three feet down onto a crib mattress at arms is not fun! So when my niece (who is expecting her first little person—CONGRATULATIONS) asked if she could have the crib when we were done with it, the opportunity was jumped on. Because I was definitely “done with it.” But first a replacement was needed.

A fruitless search was on to find something suitable, safe and fun. This rolled into several weeks of aggravation. If the price was right the bed wasn’t. Red and Ash were indecisive and nothing had the proper level of ‘funness’ I was personally searching for. As my niece’s due date drew ever nearer, we still struggled over what kind of toddler bed would suit that Tot? The answer came in the midst of a work day via text.

“They have a Step 2 toddler bed at the consignment store near the mall,” Ash texts. “What kind?” I skeptically reply. “It’s a fire truck!” she responds. Need we say more?

I was at work, and leaving to acquire a toddler fire truck bed is not an acceptable excuse for departure. Thus a plan was quickly hatched to leave work a little early and make the hour drive in 30 minutes by beating the traffic. This did not happen. There was a delay; not only did I not leave early I left 30 minutes late. This put me in the middle of traffic, it was 90 degrees and the air conditioner was broken. Thus a sweaty, agitated, nicotine deprived (see last week’s column) Pappy was what walked into that toddler shop. No need to worry, wide-eyed employees—I’m just here for the fire truck...the one sitting behind the counter with a blue tag on it. “That’s been sold hasn’t it?” I said pointing. This came out way more “Clint Eastwood” than intended. When the fear is confirmed, an unintentional dropping of the F-bomb is followed by a quick debate to grab the fire truck and run. Instead I ask in that same gritty tone, “Got another one?” Amazingly they did have another one and the entire tone was reset to a happier tune. Thus Tot has a big smiley faced fire truck to sleep in and now attention can be focused on other fencing!

If you’re wondering how the subjects of a toddler’s fire truck bed and fencing could possibly flow into one another it’s simple. The bed was needed for Tot to sleep in, the fence is to keep Tot in. A fence will help keep Tot safe, however his safety is not the primary drive behind its erection.

For many years, before there was even a Tot to keep safe, plans to fence in the backyard were always on the to-do list. The reason was that if I ever decided to get a dog it wouldn’t find its way to the hazard of the highway. Sadly there wasn’t a fence to keep our three year old Shih Tzu Bruce in, and the guilt for not having stuck to my guns about my rule of ‘fence before dog’ is phenomenal. A very hard and tragic lesson learned. One that could have been easily avoided and will be in the near future.

You see Lil Red has a lot of love for furry little people. Nowadays, since the accident, there is an empty spot deep within her soul. There is love there to give and a need to give it. Thus with each section of fence I put up she picks out new names for a new furry friend. It’s down to three now Ridley, Quinn and my personal favorite, Kazoo. Now if you’ll excuse me, my need to give love must be fulfilled and requires a set of post-hole diggers.

I welcome almost all questions and comments either through the Focus, or just E-mail me at Or you can FRIEND me on Facebook under Saw’s Brood!

Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused. See ya!




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