Why Would You Want To
Catch A Cold?
October 2, 2014
The English language is clustered with contradictions, absurdities, anomalies and inconsistencies; e.g., we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway. Many a writer has exposed and exploited this through text and verse. Likewise numerous comedians have devoted countless routines on the humorous paradox that is our modern form of verbal communication.
At this point we could go off on many a tangent and further explore dozens of misconstrued verbal venues. Instead we are going to focus on one, expound upon it, then abandon it to pursue the path it sets us on. The asinine idiom that will serve as the catalyst for this week’s batch of readable madness is “catching a cold”.
In order to “catch” something there must first be the desire for it. Not to mention the effort and pursuit to catch it. You catch the bus or catch a fly ball. Who in their right mind pursues and tries to catch a cold? Of course people will tell you, “Oh, it sounds like you’re trying to catch a cold.” Really? So there are sound effects for this hunting expedition you’re not even aware you’re on? It’s not like you sneak around in the underbrush, looking for signs of viral infection, then run up and lick it. It’s quite the opposite really; the cold catches you.
So saying you’ve caught a cold is ridiculous, you’ve caught nothing. In reality you have subtly, unknowingly been ambushed and invaded on a microscopic level. Of course that seems a little much to say when someone asks you how you’re feeling. Maybe we should just say, “A cold has caught me.” That makes more sense really.
Cold and flu season have arrived and upon writing this a cold has caught me. To be more accurate it has jumped me in the dark and been trying to kick my ass for over a week now. This unwelcome viral infection was ushered into the House-o-Saw via a tiny Tot-sized carrier. Children, as we all know, are basically little germ factories and they like to share.
Whether you deal with little peeps or not it’s not surprising to get the sick during this time of year. But the question of is it a passing cold or the onslaught of the flu?, can be frustrating. The allergens that come along with the Fall season deepen the mystery. Are you sick or is it just allergies? With the variety of symptoms involved it’s truly impossible to tell. Sure there are preventatives and medications you can take but which ones? You could take them all and still suffer the effects of this plethora of seasonal sickness. Or, be perfectly healthy and doped-up out of your mind.
There is no definitive conclusion, universal solution or direct answer when it comes to dealing with the common cold...or flu...or allergies, whichever is getting you. In most cases the length and severity varies widely per individual. What has one person breathing easier in minutes may make the next sick for another day. The fact of the matter is we could hash over symptoms, debate diagnoses and ponder home cures all day and still feel miserable. In the final analysis, past the desperate desire to just feel better, it all comes down to a matter of time. Time and the hope that once we’re on the mend another cold isn’t nearby, stalking us patiently and awaiting its turn to get caught.
Gawd, I hope that made some sense because honestly I’m just too sick, tired and miserable to care.
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Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused. See ya!