Disclaimer on a personal note: On occasion this column opens with a disclaimer or forewarning.
Often attesting that the writer takes full responsibility for the column’s content. Or that said content may be offensive to some readers- viewer discretion is advised.
For the most part these are in jest. Tagged on for the sake of humor. However, in certain instances they are sincere. In this case, such is the case.
Addressing any relative of mine, distant or nearby, who has lowered their standards to read my works. What follows has nothing to do with you. Nor does it imply or cast shadow on anything or anyone swinging from our family tree. This foretold to avoid hurt feelings, angry calls or texts and well-meaning threats of physical violence- been there… done with that and that’s all folks! Moving right along…
It has been said that- blood is thicker than water. Scientifically speaking, this is quite true. If you place a drop of blood into a cup full of water, it will sink to the bottom. On the other hand, if you place a drop of water into a cup full of blood, something may be wrong with you. Who has a cup full of blood just sitting about?
Vampirism aside, the blood/water idiom is a tired-tried-and-true cliché. One that has been floating about the English language for centuries. It’s assumed meaning being- “family bonds are stronger than other relationships”.
Obviously the “thickened blood” is speaking literally of relative bloodlines. But did you ever stop to consider- where does the H2O come from? Of what water do they speak? Is it tap water, bottled water, holy water… Blah! What does it represent?
The answer to this aquatic conundrum can be found in the original complete phrase. Which is often attributed to Scottish novelist Sir Walter Scott, who included it in his 1815 novel Guy Mannering. The full quote is- “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.”
This realization revelation contradicts what has always been perceived by the blood/water correlation. Because what this actually means is that relationships built by choice are stronger than the ones you inherit by birth. And when contemplated rings truer than its more recent translation of family first. Even questioning the defining of “family”.
Right about now those who abide by and preach traditional family values are stepping angrily to their pulpits. But before you expose your blind ignorance, there’s something to consider. The foundation of any “family” is built by choice.
They say you can’t choose your family, but “choice” is where it truly begins. A man meets a woman who is (hopefully) not a blood relative, not family. They choose to form a union by their own volition.
They procreate. It is only now they are considered a family. Their offspring will later go on to select a mate by choice and form their own family unit and so forth and so on. In this it becomes obvious that “choice” comes first- chickens and egg logic need not apply here.
That said and simplified, does that not still leave us stuck with those we are born unto? Legally (to some extent) and by blood ties- yes. But there is no law nor way to force a person to be part of any family or give a s*** about them. Don’t like your family? Go make your own!
But why would you reject your family origin? Well maybe your parents force their ideals and world perceptions upon you… or they just suck. Perhaps your siblings don’t like you very much and also suck. Perhaps you are a sheep of darkness drowning in a sea of relative suckiness.
In contrast maybe you have a nephew that’s akin to a little brother in your eyes and heart. Perchance there’s an aunt who’s more mothering than your bio. Or grandfather that stepped in to willingly raise you.
Outside the branches of the traditional family tree, maybe you’ve a close friend that’s more like a sister. Maybe your boss at work provides a more supporting father figure. Maybe your dog is your kid!
Whether constructed from new or recycled parts, you choose the structure and materials. Because all else aside, it is how you define family that matters. Related by blood family by choice.
I welcome almost all questions, comments via Focus, or E-mail me at wanderingchainsaw@gmail.com. Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused! See ya.
