chainsaw_headerSalutations regular as well as random readers. Recently some of you have casually commented on currently circulated column content. Politely pointing out (yes, there is a polite way to point) that there seems to be an increasing influx of religious themed tones appearing with more regularity within these articles.

This has prompted many to inquire- “Has Chainsaw found religion?” As well as queries of whether or not this writer has “found Jesus.” As for religion, the answer is no. There has never been a need to find religion because I already know where it is. There is a lot of it, all over the place. And with this knowledge, know it would be in the best interest of religion and myself to maintain a respectful distance apart. However, the true quest of not so much finding religion but rather finding the right religion continues unabated.

As for finding Jesus. Well, I’ve found him. He was hiding up in the rafters out in the barn the whole time. So, I jumped up, tagged his sandal and told Him he was it. Now He’ll cover his eyes, count to 100 and find me- that’s how you play the game.

Digression is in order before sinking into sacrilege. Rest assured salvation, as it were, has not been achieved and there will be no thumping of the good book or any other book here. It damages the book’s spine and decreases its value. Respect books kids!

However, on occasion, there are subjects that come into questionable minds. Which pertain to or reference subjects of biblical origins. Such is the case here with what sounds like a bad 1960’s B-movie title- Angels from Outer Space.

Angels are from outer space? Initially and immediately one’s mind rejects this conceptual statement as ludicrous blasphemy. Especially if one is of a Christian mentality of thinking.

So, if not from outer space, where then do angels come from? Survey says… Heaven? And just where in hell pray tell do you think heaven is? Up there? And what is “up there?” Perhaps some definition is in order here… Outer space- (noun): the physical universe beyond the earth’s atmosphere. Thus, if heaven (home and origin of angels) isn’t just a make-believe frame of mind, then it’s in outer space.

So, by definition angels come from outer space. Ergo angels are aliens. And the mental rejection continues.

It may be that the issue with this issue is people’s perception of what an alien is. Illegal variety aside, when one hears the word “alien” one immediately thinks of Sigourney Weaver. In relation to the hideous, acid dripping Xenomorphs which she played the antagonist against in the Aliens film franchise. Angels can’t be aliens because aliens are scary and acidic.

On the other hand, “alien” may conjure up images of creepy big eyed, scrawny, grey-skinned beings. Or cute little extraterrestrials, with glowing body parts, who befriend children and get into all sorts of human hi-jinks. Angels aren’t creepy and there are no hi-jinks in heaven… but don’t they glow… in places?

Despite our media induced envisioning of how life out there is imagined, the true meaning of the word rings true to the cause if the optical does not. Alien- 1. (adjective): belonging to a foreign country or nation. 2. (noun): a foreigner, especially one who is not a naturalized citizen of the country where they are living. 3. (noun): life which does not originate from Earth. Therefore, by defined analysis and logical theory, if angels do indeed exist, then they are aliens and they are from outer space.         

This of course means that… you guessed it- If there is a God than he/ she/ it is an alien, too. Protest all you want. Being that an alien is a being that originates outside earth’s atmosphere, God is definitely N.O.P.E. (Not Of Planet Earth). How could God be? According to Genesis, He created it. You can’t originate from a place that didn’t exist until you made it so! Not only is God an alien, but technically, biblically accordingly, since God was here before everything, God was the first alien.

Yeah, it’s kind of a mind blower. But once you’ve wrapped your brain around the concept, it’s not so hard to believe. And be better prepared when the flying saucers swoop in on judgment day.

I welcome almost all questions, comments via through the Focus, or E-mail me at [email protected]. Hope to hear from ya until then try and stay focused! See ya.