chainsaw_headerFor regular readers (thank you for your continued patronage) most of this is old hat. So as always, watch me for the changes and try to keep up. For irregular readers, we’ll bring you up to speed as quickly and painlessly as possible. And if irregularity continues… please seek medical attention.

So it came to pass, in the days before communism sat at the threshold and petrol became a luxury many could ill afford, that a small goat of fainting fled from barbaric conditions, starvation and certain doom, from a market of flea grocery store. Seeking out salvation, finding refuge and rescue at the House o’ Saw.

Verily she was taken in, shepherded upon by the house’s patriarch across the wide fields of backyard, and protectively over-watched and mothered by a corgi/shepherd/pit-bull mix. Therefore this wayward creature, of horn and hoof, became learned of the ways of paw and bite and thought herself to be canine. (Yes the damned thing still thinks it’s a dog). And in those earliest of days, on the darkest of nights, would relinquish inhuman howls that sounded all-too-human into the darkness. She was thus dubbed the Wendigoat after the wailing cannibalistic creature of Native American folklore. (And the neighbors loved us.)

And lo it came to pass (again) when twice changed the seasons, the House o’ became the Farm o’ and the herd o’ one was herded to grander, greener pastures. A larger paddock was procured and then expanded upon, giving reign over a vivacious variety of greenery to tantalize bovid taste buds. A small makeshift barn was erected to shelter from storm and provide safe haven in the dark of night.

Yet in this new found freedom ‘twas tragic that she be excluded from play with her pack. Seven inch long head-spears of death and head-butts as play did not bode well with her fellow hounds. Spiting our best efforts of attention, she desired animal companionship from her own kind. And so it came to pass (last time) that we went forth to seek out another and here we are.

With well-bred goat prices averaging over $200, starting Wendi a GOAT FUND ME PAGE seemed a good idea, but proved unnecessary. Some funds for just this occasion (our budget is so weird) had already been set aside. So off to the market we go to discover BT FARMS and a plethora of baby goat-folk… most of which are already sold and awaiting pickup… sigh. Yes, all spoken for… except for that runt of the litter in the very back. He’s a fainter? He’s on discount? And he has a new home!

In the initial meet and greet the little goat-guy had told me his name was Rufus. To which Li’l Red (that’s the dotingly patient spouse) curled her nose. Okay, then how about… Dracula? Dracula??? Why would you name a baby goat Dracula? Well, if you look at him upside down (which I had) those little horns look like vampire fangs. The drive home was interesting.

Initially Wendi was delighted to have company. They butted heads, she wanted to play, he wanted to eat. She did not take kindly to him eating her vivacious variety. So she began bullying him and they had to be separated.

Busta? After the song Bust A Move by Young MC which is playing on the radio? Einstein? Bach, Mozart, Amadeus (rock me) or how bout… Dracula? No!

So the new arrival has taken up residence in Wendi’s old renovated dog-lot pen for now. We’ll let them acclimate slowly to ensure everyone’s safety. Still needs a name…

Maxwell (Houser)? Baxter? Bixby or Ferrigno – (Incredible Hulk references)? Benjamin – (the donkey from the 1954 novel Animal Farm)? Fritz? Or how about…I don’t know… Dracula? NO!!!

So now Saw 3 (live-in grand-kid) is shepherding our latest acquisition. He’s even been inspired to read a few chapters from Raising Goats for Dummies. Pets are a good way to help kids learn responsibility, but he doesn’t know how to call the little fellow because he’s still the goat with no name.

Clint? Joe Kidd? Chupa (as in – cabra)? Jack (as in -alope)? Cujo (he looks rabid)? Killer? Dave? Or hey, here’s a great name – Dracula!

NO!!! For the last time, anything but Dracula!

Fine, fine, but let’s just see how far “anything but” can go.


I welcome almost all questions and comments via FOCUS, or E-mail me at [email protected].

Hope to hear from ya until then try and stay focused. See ya.