Sequels, remakes, re-envisions, reboots- modern media has nothing new to offer and prefers to rehash for the sake of the potential franchise dollar. To be fair, audiences don’t want anything new, preferring the same old or variation on a familiar theme. Otherwise they wouldn’t know what’s trending and wouldn’t know what to like just because everybody else does.

In addition, politically correct equality is reaching a point of ridiculousness. Trying to cram a nod to every ethnicity, gender, religious and sexual preference, etc., in an attempt to appease the masses in every production. Thereby hindering the storyline with an excess of unnecessary character development. Can’t we just all hurrah for the human race?

But alas this is what general audiences want. That being the case, HCSAWWT is obligated to oblige. Because we all know how concerned this writer is with trending pop-culture based popularity and conforming to society’s standards… Hahahahahahaha!!!! Anywho…

In an attempt to satisfy the diverse needs for culturally balanced repetition of a larger audience we present a tale that has been told, alternately continued, re-envisioned and sequeled… this is the re-boot (cuz we haven’t yet). So without further ado HCSAWWT proudly re-presents The Happy Bunnies, a modern, socially conscious rebooting!

The happy bunnies lived in the meadow under the tall old oak tree. The happy bunnies played in the sunshine, nibbling on the dandelions and resting in the shade of the oak when they got too hot. The happy bunnies ate juicy carrots and pink clover blossoms that grew by the stream, which flowed past the tall oak. The happy bunnies enjoyed fresh carrot beer that they made in their little brewery located under the tall oak.

Each happy bunny possessed their own unique racial representation, ethnic background and gender specification—which they insist be acknowledged and never pointed out; but they all shared the happiness equally. Ah utopia, or so it would seem, but some of the happy bunnies weren’t so happy. They thought that some bunnies were happier than they were. These “not so happy” bunnies mounted protests, circulated petitions and caused problems. When the other happy bunnies asked them to join in the fun, they would refuse and then bitch about being left out. Soon everybunny was upset and so busy complaining, just to feel more individually significant, they failed to notice the Miscellaneously Malicious Snake Tribe crossing the happy bunny borders.

By the time the happy alarm sounded many a happy bunny had been unhappily devoured. Realizing the threat, the happy bunnies put their differences aside, rallied their happiness and retaliated. The MMST was helpless against the happy bunnies’ defense of stomping on their heads. But alas, soon the happy bunnies’ casualties mounted with fallen arches and poisoned toes.

It seemed the happy bunnies might lose the Battle of the Meadow Under the Tall Old Oak Tree by the Stream (or BOTMUTTOOTBTS, as it later came to be called). When an indiscriminate yet happy bunny, who shall remain nameless, (because gawd forbid we attribute one bunny more than another for saving a Lepus civilization) observed that perhaps the problem was the bunnies’ boots. Yes, these boots were made for hopping about happily, not crunching serpentine skulls. Their only option would be to reboot… yes we came all this way for that gag.

And that’s just what they did. They rebooted with all terrain hiking boots and were able to stomp the yard free of the snake invaders. They didn’t have a dance off; they literally just stepped on them till they slithered away.

After the funerals, happiness was reinstated and the happy bunnies came away with some valuable life lessons. Don’t get so caught up in yourself that you forget you’re all in this together—whether you like it or not. Creating an issue when there is none will create one—that’s when the snakes get in (they are everywhere). Most importantly always have the proper footwear for any activity. FYI: The original happy bunny story ran in February 2006.

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Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused. See ya!