“Tell me with the Rapture and the virus in the right, right? You hand-washin’, sanitizen’, hoard shite, fright plight

Feeling pretty psyched! It’s the end of the world as we know it…It’s the end of the roll as we know it … It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I don’t want this!

Remember that, I’ll never forget where you’re at

Don’t let the days go by

Quarantine… Quarantine…I’m never alone, I’m alone all the time. I said that I don’t care

I just run my hands through her dark hair. Then I pray to God, you gotta help me fly away… And just let her cry, if the tears fall down like rain.

Let her sing, if it eases all her pain. Let her go, just leave a couple rolls of TP. And if the sun comes up tomorrow, Quarantine… oh, Quarantine!” Lyrics excerpted, crammed and twisted together by yours truly from, “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)” (Duh), by R.E.M., “Glycerine” by Bush and “Let Her Cry” by Hootie and the Blowfish.

Though it takes a few tries you can actually sing this demented ditty through. All you have to do is apply the original melodic alterations to the words at the right times. And if successful…you’ll still come out with a mildly melodious, mish-moshed, mashed up, mangled mess much like the current state of the world and the overtone of this week’s article. Yeah, we’ll be going all over the place ­— so watch me for the changes and try to keep up.

In the beginning, when the invasion had yet to grace our shores, “We the people” were our usual defiant selves. We are the untouchable, arrogant-imus- Americanos, homo-oblivious in Latin or Looney Tunes terminology. Who laugh in the face of danger…as long as danger’s not in our face. There were jokes aplenty, still are and that’s just fine — it’s how people cope. But now the laughter at said humorous anecdotes becomes more nervous with every punchline.

“It doesn’t seem real!” this statement, uttered exasperatedly in the early stages, sums it all up rather nicely. And still it holds true even now. It’s like a thick layer of surreality has been laid down, blanketing the world in an incomprehensible alternate reality. Doesn’t seem, feel or even look real…but it is and it sucks!

People in face masks, hoarding toilet paper, seeking salvation in sanitization, don’t forget to WASH YOUR HANDS!!! You’d think people had never wiped their a**es and washed their hands after before. This isn’t a new trending thing. It’s a daily practice that shouldn’t require a pandemic to encourage you to do so! A pandemic…is that what this is? Or has our world always been diseased and it’s just now coming to light?

And now, since folks can’t adhere to basic hygiene of their own accord — QUARANTINE! It’s ironically funny to hear comments, made in shocked tones, about all the people that are needlessly out and about. Considering that in order to see these needless “people” you have to be one of them. Why aren’t you all at home enjoying your quarantine… or at least making the best of it? Spend time with your loved ones or find out you don’t love those ones as much as you thought.

For some it’s a dream vacation, a sneak peek at retirement. But for others, who exist paycheck to paycheck — that’s not coming, it’s a panicked struggle to survive. Vacation-dreamers before you retire could you give a hand-up to those in need? So maybe everyone can make it through this together? But what if we can’t make it through “this”? What if “this” doesn’t end? What if “this” is just the beginning? What if “this” is just the beginning of the “this” that will be the end of “this”??? WTF… went a little overboard with “this.” Hello, my name is Chainsaw and I will be your confusing Harbinger of Doom.

We joke when something’s funny or when we’re scared to death. Not ashamed to admit in this case it’s the latter. The quarantine will be over in two weeks, but “back to normal” will be a long time coming. Not really a big fan of “normal” but right now I sure miss it.

I welcome almost all questions and comments via FOCUS, or E-mail me directly at [email protected]. Hope to hear from you, until then try and stay focused. See ya!