Last week we went the whole nine yards to celebrate mine own nine years of wondrous wedlock to Lil’ Red (that’s the little spouse girl person). Coincidentally (and somewhat tragically) this also marks another nine year anniversary, the Have Chainsaw Will Travel Anti-Litter Pictorial Campaign Article. SIGH… Nine years of wandering out to the waterways in hopes of finding them respectfully unmolested and an equal number of years filled with disappointment.

Some people ask if the litter pics are “staged.” Yes, of course they are. Because I always carry a bag-full of random refuse around just in case of a photo-op (that’s sarcasm, btw, no they are not and no I do not). Folks also ask if I ever pick up any of the litter in the pics. Why should I? It’s not mine and anything that enters the nature with me leaves with me. I shouldn’t have to pick it up, because it shouldn’t be there in the first place… but when I can I do.

Now I have a few questions in return that correlate with the collective, collaborated collage of crap found on our riverbanks.

1. What the hell is up with tires? Tires cannot swim; water is not their natural environment! So why are they in the river?

2. So you wore rubber gloves to touch something gross or toxic. So why would you just throw them down leaving the gross toxicity that you didn’t want to touch behind, to touch others?

3. If a tree falls in the woods does that turn the hole it left behind into a natural trashcan? How would you like it if a tree stuffed litter up your butt when you fell down?

4. If you can pile it up can’t you pick it up?

5. Americans’ national pastime…littering?

6+7. Do beer cans (bottles) get heavier once they’re empty? Is that why you can carry them into the woods but not out?

Any answers given or excuses made are inconsiderate and ignorant, because those who can answer litter and littering are ignorant inconsiderate people. Don’t be inconsiderate people and show your ignorance. Pick-up after yourselves, leave it the way (or better than) you found it so others can enjoy it, respect Nature because you are part of it and above all DON’T LITTER!!! Because I’d rather not share another anniversary!

I welcome almost all questions and comments via FOCUS, or E-mail me directly at [email protected]. Hope to hear from you, until then try and stay focused. See ya!