Chainsaw’s Psychological Pondering: Just a thought ­­— why is it called “life insurance” if it only insures you after you’re dead? Shouldn’t it be called “death insurance”? If they’re going to call it life insurance shouldn’t it insure you staying alive? If you didn’t pay your premium would they be allowed to kill you? Why doesn’t it work like car insurance? If your life’s a mess they should have to fix it. Or if your life is totaled they should be responsible for getting you a new one with an available loaner life till they do. This has nothing to do with this week’s article; as aforementioned it’s, just a thought. So think about it.

So have you made the kennel reservations for Quinn (our Shih-zu fur-baby guy) yet? How much was it? Seriously??? It’d be cheaper to just take him with us…no we are not taking him with us! Speaking of expenses how are we on funds? Have we squirreled enough back to make this trip — yes the reservations were made a month ago so no worries there… I hope. How about someone to tend to the other dogs and our surviving rat brood? They’ll need treats! Oh and we can’t forget to have someone check the mail.

Alright so the yard work is in check, though we may have to mow again before we go…stupid nature. The car’s been checked, had its tires checked and fluids topped off, so have mine. Now we need to plan our grocery list so we don’t eat out the entire time. Do we have suntan lotion? Are the folding chairs and umbrella in the attic?

How are we on traveling entertainment? Don’t want the li’l fella getting antsy on the ride. Oh we need to make sure he’s got enough swimsuits. Don’t forget to pack towels; where the hell are the luggage bag things. What am I doing? Why I’m preparing our emergency vacation zombie apocalypse survival gear, of course. Oh… no double barrel…how bout the .38? No guns??? For the love of Jehovah woman if we end up unarmed during an apocalyptic event I’m holding you responsible! Sigh…it seems this used to be a lot less complicated.

Cue train whistle, “All aboard!” looks like it’s time for a crazy-train trip down memory lane-eye…eye…eye…

Thanks Mr. Osborn for that delightful intro. As we get older we gain responsibilities (shudder), jobs and households that demand our attentiveness. We acquire families, spouses, children (through a variety of means, for various reasons), pets and other people. OK who are these other people wandering around here? Get the Helsinki Sweden out of my refrigerator! Other people aside, it reaches a point where even the simplest excursion requires a bit of foresight and a little planning. Ah, but there were simpler times.

There, hanging on the back of the door, beneath the kids’ raincoats and those sweaters you slip on when it’s chilly in the house. Dusty, musty and still ready to roll – your ADVENTURE BAG!

What goes in that adventure bag? Well, just the basics of the basic. A change of clothes, simple toiletries, perhaps a multi-tool or flashlight; just the stuff you’d actually need if you needed it! But what’s an adventure bag for? Why adventures of course, you moron. Why else would you call it an “adventure bag?”

This bag was a go-to necessity for spontaneous excursions. Maybe you always carried it or maybe you kept it in your car, maybe it was your car. Regardless of what it was the point of it was the same – to be ready to hit the road. To be able to take off, ambitions abandoned. To drive off into the sunset worry free or catch a ride into the sunset with minimal concern. Don’t take rides from strangers…until you’ve sampled their candy — strangers have the best candy.

I welcome almost all questions and comments via FOCUS or E-mail me at [email protected]. Hope to hear from ya until then try and stay focused. See ya.