HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Ah just listen to the classic sounds of the arrival of the “new year”. Party horns unfurling, noise makers making noises, glasses clinking… inappropriate acts with the opposite sex, to be blamed on alcoholic consumption and regretted next year.
Time to ring it in. Make resolutions. Sing Auld Lang Syne. Time for nothing to happen.
Ya know, as one grows older the thrill of the “new year” ain’t so thrilling. As children it was seen as some “adult thing”. As teens we attempt to duplicate that adultery in some fashion.
In our twenties and thirties, we want to be out there. At the bar. At the club. At the big party. Dancing, singing, drinking. Not really knowing exactly what we’re celebrating, but if we drink enough maybe we’ll see it.
Beyond that, the “give a s***” factor begins to rapidly diminish. When we realize nothing is going to change and there’s nothing new about it. Same s*** new calendar.
Seriously, nothing friggin happens. Aside from promises made to be broken and an increase in calendar sales. It’s like the only time of year to buy one. Who in hell buys a calendar in July?
Something should happen though. Something BIG! Something that would set precedence for the fresh year and make it different from the last.
How about a really BIG BANG? Not the kind the creates a universe or trending television series. But rather a really loud noise. Heard round the world… from outer space. Maybe aliens? And each “new year” it gets a little louder, a little closer? Or God could yell and remind us he’s still there.
Or a baby unicorn, could be born at the stroke of midnight, on New Year’s Eve (Aww). It would grow quickly to adulthood. And roam the Earth, for the whole world to see, for the entire year (be sure to install the special tracking app so you can see its progress).
Then at year’s end, after a world tour, it would bestow a blessing to the kindest, bestest, most wonderfulest one of us on the good old planet Earth. And then horrifically impale the worst one of us… on international television (check your steaming services). “So be good for goodness’ sake…” Then it would go into a cocoon (a unicocoon?) and be reborn as the New Year baby one… or explode- BIG BANG = baby unicorn.
Maybe we need something “new” that affects us all directly. We should all change our skin color. Every year. Not like white or varying shades of brown. But like periwinkle blue, fuchsia red or orange. No… we’d f that up, because some folks only used 7 of the 64 Crayola’s.
What we’d have to do is all get genetically altered so it happens automatically annually like a chameleon thingie. That would be something new, surprising and would put an end to racism. A new and different shade of equality every calendar year. Sounds great, but sadly I assure you we’d find new and creative ways to be a-holes to our fellow folks… sigh.
What if, at the stroke of midnight, for the succeeding 24 hours, gravity quit working! We’d have to tie stuff down, hang on and be all floaty- what fun. And those too stubborn to believe in Newton’s Law would just float off… and die in space. Okay maybe that’s a bit terrible.
What to do… what to do? Well, it’s not like we can actually do any of these things. They’d just kinda have to happen to us. So, what could WE do to put some “NEW” in the New Year?
Silence our cell phones, our firearms, our machines and ourselves for a couple of minutes? Take a collective pause and let the world do the same? The sound of silence for seconds to reflect on how little (in the grand scheme) the noise we make matters?
Be nice for that first day? A single act of kindness from and for every individual? Maybe set that precedence for the year?
Quiet kindness? What an impossible concept. You expect us to do unto others without praising ourselves in the process- utterly ridiculous.
No, let us just continue to delusionally do what we’ve always done. Like our rituals matter or make any difference… bring on the unicorn.
I welcome almost all questions, comments via t Focus, or E-mail me at [email protected]. Hope to hear from ya until then try and stay focused, See ya.
