chainsaw_headerPerhaps our first act of support in the Russia/Ukraine conflict should be to send a large shipment of TUMS to the Ukraine. Not the cheap knock-off stuff, that tastes like chalk and does nothing more than leave a bad taste in your mouth. But the good stuff that tastes yummy, is easy to chew and almost immediately effective, like TUMS Chewy Bites with Gas Relief. Cause gawd only knows they’ve got too much Putin (pronounced poot-n) going on there now.

Let us crack open a bottle of wine. Perhaps a Bordeaux blend red of 1945 Château Mouton Rothschild. Bottled in the later part of that year and aged to perfection. (Some of you will get that particular wine reference.) Yes, a classic vintage and some crackers to accompany the cheese served up in that first paragraph.

Yet it is far better to seek out the wine to go with one’s cheese. Than to be offered the cheese to go with one’s whine.

Besides isn’t that what we, the people do? Make jokes in the face of adversity? Using humor as a coping mechanism as the world burns down around us? Anti-war propaganda humor has been around since there were wars to be anti to. Of course now-a-days we call them Memes.

Memes have been banned in Russia since April 2015, (more stringently so in the light of current events). With the implementation of what is known as the Russian Anti-Meme Law. A decree that bans impersonating or sharing doctored images of public figures that are deemed out-of-context in relation to their personality or reputation in real life.

Meanwhile, in the U.S. memes are alive and well. In lieu of the current conflict, the internet has become flooded with a plethora of manipulated anti-Putin photos and images of negative Russian stereotypes. All of which are posted with clever and witty captions, oblivious to the fact that it’s all fun and games till someone loses an eyeball. Or, in this case, is expected to back up statements made by their anonymous online presence in the real world.

SIDThe fact of the matter is most memes are generated and posted by those members of society that fall within the parameters of Generation Z. This would be those Americans born between 1997 and 2012, currently ranging in ages between 10 and 25 (got your math right there). This is also the generation that is most notably addicted to technology, obsessed with online gaming platforms (mostly war and battlefield based simulations). And who see nothing wrong with spending the rest of their lives in the confines of their parent’s basements.

Where are we going with this? Well it’s the irony of it all. In that when it was speculated that the “conflict” could lead into a third world war, the first statement issued from Gen Z was- “Please don’t draft me!” Oh gawd forbid you have to do something more than toss out profanities, intermingled with half-assed military jargon, whilst behind the protective keyboard barrier. C’mon GodkillaDestroya2000 with a KDR (Kill Death Ratio) of 2.4. Let’s see what a real badass you are. Don’t you want to live out your fantasy and figure out how the run function works on yourself?

Okay, that’s a bit brutal! Digression and apologies are in order. As I on occasion enter the war-torn online battlefields of Plants vs Zombies — the battle for Neighborville myself. But for gawd’s sake go outside every now and again. While you’re out there, breathe a breath of free, fresh air and worry not. Currently the government has no plans to reinstate the draft anytime soon.

Besides, considering the evolution of modern warfare, should we go to war, its unlikely military personnel will see much action. The battle will very likely be waged behind a keyboard. With an authorizing command and the press of a button… followed by a counter button press. The thought that it could be decided and over-done-with-gone so simply is truly terrifying.

So are we going to war? Are we witnessing history (or the end of it) in the making? Are we in danger of being invaded? Is communism on the threshold of our country? Will America suffer the wrenching horrific stench resulting from all that Putin? Can I offer you some Tums and a glass of wine?

I welcome almost all questions and comments via FOCUS, or E-mail me at [email protected]. Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused. See ya.