Hey G,

I’ve been divorced for over a decade and all I can say about dating is… It’s frustrating! How do I find a good woman?

Frustrated in Claremont

Dear Frustrated,

As a single woman, I, and many others, could echo your sentiment with…How do I find a good man? Simply because we consider ourselves ‘good’ women. Yet, I’ll stay on subject and attempt to offer a solution.

First, I subscribe to the belief people are inherently good. In the context of: good versus evil, most people tip the scales in favor of virtues, morals and integrity. People get even ‘gooder’ when they are kind-hearted, thoughtful, considerate, gracious and charitable. It’s also ‘good’ to be supportive, caring and have the depth of character to put those you love first. All wonderful qualities to have in a partner.

So where are these wonderful women? I’d venture to say…everywhere. The unfortunate side is sometimes they forget their innate goodness. Consequently, becoming jaded by the trials life has dealt: emotionally abusive childhoods; cheating significant others; jealous lovers. Whatever their negative past experiences may be, they get lodged deep in the psyche and can contribute to unfavorable current behavior. However unfortunate, realize Frustrated, no one is immune to being adversely affected by their past. Working hard to overcome previous disappointments is ongoing, sometimes lasting a lifetime.

As for finding a good woman, it would behoove you to initially view every woman as good, thus eliminating any preconceived generalization to the contrary. Starting any relationship trusting in a positive outcome will set the stage for success. In contrast, entering a new relationship with the expectation of failure and…guess what? Pessimistic anticipation will more than likely generate failure. Further compounding the ripple effect of ‘not good.’

Secondly, where to meet ‘good’ women. Church, craft shows/stores, art galleries, museums, outside concerts, art classes, dancing lessons, garden centers, flea markets, and yes, even the grocery store. Obviously, going where women go is a logical place to start.

Once you’ve met the ‘woman of your dreams’…remember to take it slow and steady. A relationship is not a race, but a journey through life together. The road may be rocky at times, continually dotted with hills and valleys, but it always moves forward…together.

Best wishes and many blessings to you, my friend,


Dear Friends,

I’ve enjoyed “Dear Ask G” this summer and hope you have also. However, starting in September I will return to “Can You Imagine” for your reading pleasure.

Although, anytime you wish to submit a question to “Dear Ask G” I’ll see if my most awesome editor will allow me to sprinkle it in with my response.

Thank you so much for reading. It makes my heart smile to know you are there.

Love, hugs and smiles,

Bobbi G

[email protected]