chainsaw_headerPublication date pending, as you are reading this it is a minimum of four days out from when it was actually written. As it’s being written, on the morning of September 3rd, 2023, something interesting is transpiring. A literal once in a lifetime event. Last week we mentioned my upcoming turn of half a century. This week, it’s happening and in progress at this time.

So, you get a literal ringside play-by-play. As I age like a fine wine… more like a keg of beer, before your very eyes. And here we go… Yep getting older by the minute. Mm-hmm turning nifty fifty right now. I can feel…ah… nothing yet. Well, this is about as captivating as watching paint dry. In lieu of the fact that growing old is kinda boring, let’s find a way to pass the half-lifetime.

Last week we reflected upon wisdom that can only be acquired from experience, which cannot truly be explained until experienced. So, you may grow wiser with age, but nobody understands. Understanding aside, let’s grow old together for a bit. As I bestow upon you accumulated bits of knowledge… that might make sense later.

You’re never too old to learn something new. However, actually trying something new may kill you. What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger… except bears… bears will kill you. A bear will kill and eat you and maybe not in that order. Only you can prevent forest fires, but if everyone else put in an effort there’d be less fires. Catching on fire sucks. Unless people are watching; and you can look cool.

A cup of coffee and a cigarette can be breakfast. Quitting smoking is harder the longer you smoke. Don’t ever be a quitter. Just give up gradually so no one notices. 2nd place may make you the 1st loser, but at least you’re not alone… like the winner. Losing isn’t so bad, when you realize it doesn’t really matter. You can’t win ’em all but if you lose ’em all at least you’re consistent. Realizing you’ll never be popular, pretty or rich becomes easier with age.

Sometimes it’s okay to just not care. Keep your mind active, you never know when you may lose it. Losing your mind isn’t so bad but finding it again can be a b****! It’s okay to lose yourself as long as you can find your way back. The party’s never over, just the definition of it and guest list change.

You say you’d die for your kids but when it comes to grandkids you mean it.

At this point recycling will not save the world. But don’t give up until either God or aliens show up.

Knowledge comes at random and in no specific order, so always be receptive.

Life is like a box of chocolates; it can grow stale with time and melt in the sun. So always eat chocolate when it’s fresh.

Just because something’s edible doesn’t mean you should eat it. Hot and spicy foods are just as hot and spicy upon exit. It’s okay to be strange but never be a stranger… unless you have good candy.

Make as many friends as you can and know your enemies’ home addresses.

Revenge is a dish best served cold… unless it’s revenge pizza— when hot it’ll hurt more.

Love is a mystery and myth we all try to find and believe in. You can find true love at a bar. Real love extends beyond the barstool and bedroom door. You never really know when you’re truly in love it’s like whoomp there it is!

You’re never too old to have your heart broken, but with age it becomes harder to mend.

Screaming and cursing actually is part of repair and installation procedure.

You can’t fix everything with duct-tape, but it never hurts to try.

If at first, you don’t succeed… quit and let someone who knows what they’re doing have at it. It’s okay to live your life for someone else, just don’t let them live it for you.

Always be yourself and if you can’t be yourself… be Batman.

Alrighty, so wherever you go there you are and here we is.

Nothing dramatic or life changing. Still getting older here and I suppose that never truly ends… until it does. But probably not today.

I welcome almost all questions, comments via FOCUS, or E-mail me at [email protected]. Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused! See ya.