Make no mistakes, dear reader. There is no need, nor honor in mockery for those who have passed. For even though- “The evil that men do lives after them; and the good is oft interred with their bones.”- (William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar). There should be residual respect for those who can no longer defend themselves, their own defenses interred. Unless, of course, they’re last words were- “Hey y’all, watch this!”
Likewise, one would assume that death in itself find no facetiousness. And yet… we find humor in it. To alleviate our fear of it? To cope with its inevitability? To experience its nearness and laugh in the face of it… as long as no one is dying laughing?
An American tragedy story. Of an all-too-common scenario. Names withheld because with death’s familiarity and finality does it really matter?
There was a woman. Whom after toiling for thirty some odd years on the factory floor, achieved the required age for full retirement benefits. And so, she took her leave and began making preparations for life beyond gainful employment. Which she would spend and share with her husband of many a moon. Who would follow a beneficial year behind her in his departure from the work force… forced work?
To pull up stakes. To travel. To see the countryside and sides of the country they’d only heard of. A common goal and simple plan for one’s golden years. The travel camper was purchased, paid for and laid in wait. Only a few weeks to go… and then he died.
Aside from condolences, there were three separately obtained and completely conflicting responses received in relating this aforementioned “all-to-common” tale.
1. Work more, work harder, save more money. So, retirement can arrive earlier to be enjoyed.
But no man (or woman) knows the hour or means of their demise. So how early is early enough?
2. Work less, live life to the fullest and blow every cent you make along the way. But how full can your life be if you live long and work till you die?
3. No actual response. Registered the couple and how they related to themselves then changed the subject. No plan? Or still hung up on the “immortal complex” from one’s youth?
Work towards it, around it or obliviously deny it… which is the best route to go? Either-or it’s a one-way, one-time, round trip and we never know until we get there. If we live long enough. And how long is long enough when you don’t know how long you’ve got? It could come to an abrupt close in our sleep. Or with warning via a doctor’s diagnoses following… butt stuff.
And the awkward transition of the year award goes to… me.
In order to work, one (for the most part) must have some form of insurance. In order to have insurance provided by the company you work for certain criteria must be met. In order to maintain coverage once reaching the age of 50 it includes a mandatory colonoscopy. So, it’s take it up the hmm hmm or take it to the unemployment office. FYI- I’m 50 so…sigh.
Worry much? With colon cancer becoming the norm… some. But honestly, I’m more concerned with the prep as opposed to the anally invasive procedure and ensuing results.
3 days of a “low residue” diet- finding out all I eat is residue. Followed by a day long liquid diet. Concluding with drinking some nasty s*** that’ll make me s*** like a weasel. Not worried about following through but failing to do it properly and having to do it again.
Besides, I’m too busy crafting bedside commentary to worry about possibly being told I’m dying from the inside out.
Doc… be gentle… I’m a virgin. Shouldn’t you have bought me flowers first? I never kiss on the first date, but I see we’re just gonna bypass that. Are you going to buy me dinner afterwards? Are you recording this? Can I get a copy? I’ll pay extra if you can overlay Steppenwolf’s Magic Carpet Ride… or the Indiana Jones theme.
Wonder what would happen if I could get a little Lego guy in there with a sign reading- “No need to go any further- EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!”
Yeah, some of us cope with humor… live laughter is better than dead silence.
I welcome almost all questions, comments via Focus, or E-mail me at [email protected]. Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused! See ya.
