When transitioning from the “House o’Saw” to current “Farm o’Saw” there was much to be done. The prior residents had left the residence… lacking. There was of course the expected cleaning, repairing, painting… so much painting. An exterior workshop had to be built on so there’d be a shop to work in and store all the paint, repair and cleaning supplies.
In addition, two sections of flooring- a kitchen corner and entire bathroom floor, had to be ripped out and rebuilt. You see, when a dishwasher leaks you should probably look into it. And placing a bowl beneath a leaky pipe behind the toilet isn’t a permanent fix.
All in all, it was to be expected and expected to be continued. The downside of being a homeowner is that home improvement must keep improving and general maintenance generally maintained. Until you move, die or the house burns down. Unless you prefer wet sock feet and bugs about.
Besides the homestead, our grounds had grown. Going from our previous flat, meager, barely half an acre, to two hilly, muddy, weedy, rocky, tree-filed acres. Mowing is so delightful… gawd how I hate it. But one must maintain… or there will be bugs and critters about.
Of course, taking on this extra acreage also meant taking responsibility for all the structures it contained and assembling those required. From fortunately found scrap wood, a goat barn was assembled and hundreds of feet of fencing rolled out. Because the goats had to go somewhere.
Then there was the (aforementioned exclusively in a previous article) old ramshackle house. It would (and is still in the process of being) need to be torn down. This has been rather extensive as it is all being done by hand. Yes, I know and have been told numerous times a day that a bulldozer would do the trick. But its deconstruction has become a hobby and allotted for obtaining recycled building materials… to build goat barns.
Lastly there is the massive barn/chicken house thing. More square footage than you’d need or want to think about. With initially every one of those square feet buried in six inches of assorted debris. After being a dormant catch-all for decades it became mine own mission impossible.
Weeks upon weeks spent cleaning, shoveling, sweeping and sorting its wide array of eclectic contents. Windows (yes, like frames and all), varying sized tires- tractor to dirt bike, random car parts, rusty chains, more scrap wood, buckets (some empty, some not so empty), appliances, chicken house paraphernalia. And found here and there accumulated a half-dozen antique galvanized washtubs – Oooo title reference.
Naturally, cleaning meant organizing anything deemed potentially useful or salvageable. Ergo in time one end of the barn took on the look of a hardware store run by the Clampetts. Everything hung and stacked with its own kin. Thus, when the need for a washtub arose…
“Oh,” says Lil Red (that’s the spouse), “wouldn’t a prettily painted washtub planter be the perfect Mother’s Day gift for your mom? To replace the cement one… you ran over with the car.” “Why yes it would”, says I, “Let us go to the barn and procure one.”
So off we go to the barn a.k.a. the hillbilly hardware. The tubs are all hung in line on the wall and after some debate one is selected. As I begin to pull it down, Red cautiously backs away. Later she will tell me she had a “premonition”. To which I will implore why the f*** didn’t she share.
Hmm, this tub feels heavier than I remember. WTF! Something pooped in here! Wait, how did anything get its arse high enough to… wait again… the poop is… moving? Oh, that’s because it’s not a poop, but rather a five-foot-long black snake! The tub is unceremoniously dropped. The snake is righteously pissed off.
Nature lovers of all things that creep, crawl and slither about will delight in the knowledge that I did not kill it. It went its merry way, and the washtub was obtained without further incident. However, I am left to ponder. Has cleaning and organization created the opposite desired effect of omitting random critters? Now making it more inviting a dwelling place? And if so, how to commune with nature the concepts of “free to rent” and “no vacancy”?
I welcome almost all questions, comments via Focus, or email me at wanderingchainsaw@gmail.com. Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused! See ya.
