So…this is Christmas? (Gasp) and WHAT have you done?!? Well most likely you’ve done the same thing you’ve done every year. Shopping of course, there’s always the shopping. What would the hellidays be without the shopping? Because everybody has to get something!
There’s your close family, distant relatives, not-so-distant relatives, irrelevant relatives, in-laws and outlaws. However in the event you’re from West Virginia those might all be in house. Then there are your old friends, new friends, acquaintances, co-workers, neighbors and the dog. Even after you’ve set your credit card ablaze from multiple swipings, there’s always someone else to buy for, on the off chance they might buy something for you. Gawd forbid you not have a gift at the ready when someone spontaneously decides to give you one. Nothing says Merry F-you like not having the psychic intuition to determine when someone will randomly decide to be generous. OH the guilt, OH the shame, OH the reality of the fact that you didn’t bother because you really don’t give a happy holiday s***.
So don’t forget your miscellaneous, universally thoughtful, generic gifts (that have become so trendy). Yes, buy a few extra something whatevers, which can be given to someone whoevers with the simple addition or alteration of the “To:” slot on the gift tag. Nothing says -” Holiday Cheer” like a completely neutral gift, given to alleviate potential guilt. Which will most likely be re-gifted before the Holiday is Holi-done. But after all it’s the thought that counts right? But, are you really thinking?
Of course in recent years, rather than buy gifts for every individual in the family or at the office, most have opted to instead play Dirty Santa. Let’s pause for a moment and consider this “dirty” Santa. Why, during a season filled with hope, joy, purity and light, would someone concoct a holiday game entitled DIRTY Santa? Why not Xmas Tree Bingo or The Grinch’s Choice or WTF is in that box? Dirty Santa conjures up images of a smelly, drunken wino, in a filthy Santa suit at a run-down derelict mall. “Hey kiddies (hack hack) wanna sid on Santie’s lap heh heh heh?” Well if it didn’t before it will now…you’re welcome. Despite its offensive and borderline pornographic name it’s truly a brilliant and relatively simple concept. You bring one miscellaneous, universally thoughtful, generic gift to a gathering. Then take turns picking through them till a few people end up with really cool stuff and everyone else goes away disappointed.
However regardless of who, what, where, when, how and why you’re shopping…it’s always more shopping. Constantly consuming and fueling the commercialism that the holiday season has become. Gimme, gimme gimme! Greed! More stuff! We need more stuff!!! Has everyone forgotten the true meaning of Christmas? Well, have you? Well, whatever it was its shopping now so…why does anyone even bother with manger scenes anymore? Seriously? Like that’s what’s on anyone’s mind. An innocent babe in wadded up clothes and his folks, with some sheep herders and a couple of wise guys wedged between a wire-framed Santa’s sleigh and an inflatable Xmas dinosaur? (Yes this writer saw that very thing just the other day). All illuminated with a mismatched assortment of string lights and LED projected displays. So it’s not just about how much stuff you can buy but how much pre-lite inflatable crap you can cram in your yard as well.
You are not celebrating the holidays! You are not feeling festive and cheerful because Santa Claus is coming to town! And you sure as h*** aren’t doing any Jesus birthday stuff because he was born in September. What you are doing is going through the motions. You are repeating the traditions that have been passed down. The problem is with each year you take it to a whole new level, in a vain attempt to recapture the spirit of the season. Bigger is better right? The more the merrier right? NO! You are delusional and tell those lies to yourself at the end of November.
What is Christmas? What should Christmas be? Well no matter how many presents you buy, how much ham you eat or how many inflatable abominations you put in your yard you’ll never find it. No one can tell you what Christmas is, because it’s not something to tell, it’s more of a long forgotten feeling. Perhaps, if you put as much effort into finding it, as you do running around chasing it like a maniac with a fistful of cash, you’ll remember that feeling that doesn’t come with a price tag. Because much like a Black Friday sale (something you can relate to) it’s free for all.
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Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused. See ya!
