“Stay at home order what joy, lock the front door, oh boy! Got to sit down…on my stool… by the dryer. Imagination sets in, pretty soon I’m singin’ DOO, DOO, DOO, lookin’ out my back door.

People wearing facemasks, no toilet paper for my a**, but look at all the happy creatures dancin’ on the lawn.

1970’s playlist, list’nin’ to Sweet’s Blitz (while I’m) DOO, DOO, DOO, lookin’ out my back door.

Quarantine, a 5 week stint, lock the front door, oh s***! But look at all the happy creatures dancin’ on the lawn. Bother me tomorrow, today I’ll buy no sorrow — DOO, DOO, DOO, lookin’ out my back door.” Lyrics excerpted from “Looking Out My Back Door” by Creedence Clearwater Revival, mid-1970s, and mentally mangled by yours truly.

“Excuse me…Mr. Chainsaw? We may have a problem sir!”

Jeepers Christ who the h… oh it’s my secretary and easily offended female editorial filter, “The Secretary” (who the hell names their kid “The”?). What a surprise to see you here considering this isn’t your home and your supposed to…OMG what are you wearing??? Is that a full body latex cat-suit, with a hood and ears (kinda kinky) and a gas mask (scary kinky). Feeling a little paranoid, are we or do you have another dominating profession I’m unaware of?

“Neither sir… it’s laundry day.”

Oooookay, so… laundry day… makes perfect sense. Anywho you mentioned a potential problem?

“Yes sir, I’m afraid your excerpted opening for this week’s article may violate the current conservation protocol and waste precious commodities which are currently high in demand.”

Oh I see…well we certainly don’t want to violate conservatives or waste… wait… what are you talking about? What precious commodities are being wasted by opening with a variation of a CCR classic?

“Toilet paper sir!”

Toilet paper??? How in holy hell does starting a newspaper column with song equal wasting toilet paper?

“Well… there are a lot of unnecessary doo doos in that song sir.”

Wait a minute… so we just went through three paragraphs for a dookie joke? And now you’re laughing and walking out the door… ha-ha very funny, The. Let’s hope M’lady Panther finds it equally amusing.

So… where we going with this? Prior to the grade-school potty humor segment? Oh yes, doo doo aside, looking out my back door… literally.

Recently a public Facebook group was brought to my attention by a friend, it’s titled View From My Window. The concept of this group is relatively simple, to show the magnificent views from their windows… kind of a duh thing there. Well, my window views kinda suck or have AC units stuck in them. Besides I’ve always been more partial to pulling up a stool to my dryer and, you guessed it, looking out my back door.

Not really a magnificent view but look at all the happy creatures dancin’ on the lawn. OK, you’ll have to look past our two corgi/shepherds, Bazooka and Boggin… they don’t dance…or move much really, unless there are snacks. Ah but there’s Mr. Stubbs our tailless squirrel, he’s so fat we oft mistake him for a rabbit. Sadly a red-tailed hawk took his family last year — but what’s this? a new squirrel and a little one or two? Could it be that…oh look, rabbit! Nope, it’s just Stubbs, coming to hang with the wife and kids.

The morning wind carries a multitude of delicate white petals billowing down from a neighboring tree. Bats bank and barrel-roll through the faux snow fall in the dim light of early dawn. Rabbits slip through the fence to munch on dew-covered clover. With nothing but time and a mellow view, I’ve seen a mockingbird and finch build their nests… not together. As well as watched a patch of transplanted grass take root and grow. It’ll be more to mow… but not today.

There amidst nature’s confined backyard splendor there are painted broom handles, an old tire, an awning and a retired shopping cart all transformed into a makeshift Frisbee-golf course. Maybe later we’ll add a child’s laughter from the trampoline to the scene and perhaps a pretty petite red-head, smiling back through the screen door. Adding the finishing touches to this ever changing masterpiece, that can be seen out my back door.

I welcome almost all questions and comments via FOCUS, or E-mail me directly at [email protected].

Hope to hear from you, until then try and stay focused. See ya!