Chainsaw“Oh-oh, what’s love got to do, got to do with it? What’s love what is love? Baby don’t hurt me…don’t hurt me…. because love hurts, love scars, love wounds, and marks any heart not tough or strong enough. Because love is a burning thing… and it makes a fiery ring. And play with the fire and you’re gonna get burned! It’s only love if you’re loved in return… but I can’t help falling in love with you! And I’d climb the highest mountain if it reached up to the sky. To prove that I love you, I would jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah) you know I’d do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah). So a-won’t you let me, baby, just a-kind of hang around? I’ll always love you honey, and I’ll never let you down. Yes, I would die for ya, baby so I hope life treats you kind. And I hope you have all you’ve dreamed of- search your heart… search your soul! And when you find me there- you’ll search no more… no more! It cannot wait, I’m sure. There’s no need to complicate, our time is short! This is our fate, I’m yours! And I’ll never love another even if I can. Oh, come to me baby, I’m gonna love you forever and ever and Iiiiiiiieiiiiii will always love you… forever and ever amen!”

This song, (with its all-original lyrical composition and absolutely no plagiarism involved whatsoever) is lovingly dedicated to my love, my life, my all Lil’ Red, my forever Valentine.

Well, with that kind of lead in you can well imagine which direction this week’s article is headed. That’s right Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow and, as legend holds, that means six additional weeks chilly winter weather. Did you know groundhogs can carry rabies?

This is probably why there isn’t a groundhog on the Chinese zodiac. But there is a rat and rabbit…which can carry rabies, right? Actually just about everything can get rabies, so it must be because of something else. It’s irrelevant because this month the Chinese New Year will ring in the year of the Ox, rabid or not. So if you’re planning on celebrating Lincoln’s birthday (which falls on the same day) with some fine Chinese cuisine you’ll have to fix it yourself… all take-outs will be closed.

Does anyone actually celebrate Lincoln’s birthday Feb. 12th ? Ya know, kill a Vampire or something? Or Washington’s Birthday as it is just a few days after on Feb. 15th . So could we celebrate both by killing vampires… with stakes carved from cherry trees and not lying about it? Nah, let’s just celebrate by having sales on Presidents Day (also the 15th) because hey — buying stuff.

Aside from rabid rodents and politicians (there’s a joke there) there’s Ash Wednesday. This is the first day of Lent and is a Christian holy day of prayer and fasting. S’funny for the longest time I treated it as a day to celebrate the chainsaw-handed lead character of the Evil Dead franchise “Ash” Williams and cleaned out my dryer’s filter (subtle humor).

Now we take pause: placing every ounce of humor and play on words aside for the sake of preventing accidental offense. Because it would be remiss not to address in a respectful tone that the entire month of February is Black History Month. Educate yourselves, learn and lean towards equality and a better tomorrow.

And that’s it. We’ve covered every celebratory, holidayishly (new word) significant event for this month. Incidentally this has eaten up a lot of subject matter that could’ve been smeared across the pages for the next couple of weeks. But it also opens doors for non-monthly related material.

It feels like you’re expecting something more here and I’d love to help you out but… oh yeah- love. Well this late in the column we can’t just go into a rant or relish about St. Valentine’s Day. But maybe there’s enough time for love because it takes so little time to.

It only takes a moment that may last just that moment or a lifetime. It’s a double-edged sword and it’s only real if you both get cut to the bone. It must be a mutual feeling… otherwise its obsession, stalking and restraining orders.

I welcome almost all questions, comments via FOCUS, or E-mail me at [email protected]. Hope to hear from ya until then try and stay focused! See ya.