PRELUDE: Late at night…. in any town USA. On a desolate back street, at the corner of Desperation and Ignorance. A small station wagon rolls to a stop at the curb. Putting the car into park the driver looks around nervously. Spotting a lone figure across the street he flashes the headlamps. The man at the corner looks cautiously about and approaches the car. “You got the cash?” the man asks. The driver flashes a large roll of bills- “Yeah $200 in small bills, you got the good stuff?” “Sure do,” says the man also flashing a roll, “One Super MEGA roll, floral print, 2 ply, a Charmin clean booty is a thing of beauty.” End prelude.

Viewing this as an exaggerated and yet possible reality one must ponder –what the hell is wrong with people???

If the forecast calls for even the slightest potential of frozen precipitation; people who have never eaten a sandwich in their f***ing life suddenly must possess every slice of bread and pint of milk they can lay hands on. So this is your go-to plan in the event of inclement weather? To sit around in the dark eating a bowlful of soppy bread crumbs; which would have the consistency of a spoonful of phlegm? … Gag-a-maggot!

Is there the chance of a hurricane on the horizon? Well even though they never drink the stuff everyone spontaneously must have all the bottled water they can buy. Or settle for whatever beverage looks closest to water. What do they drink when there’s not an impending disaster? Hmmm how odd, the shelves of Sun-drop and beer are still full?

This is how “We the people” handle impending disasters. We seek salvation in consumerism and overreaction is our country’s instant reaction to everything. It would seem we act under the presumption that if we buy more than enough of the right thing, at the right time, more than anyone else can, before anyone else can, our continued survival is insured.

And now in our current continental cross-country crisis we have identified the staple items for surviving an unknown and potentially deadly virus. The must haves, which you must horde, if you want to over prepare for disease control. So what are these disease deterring desirables? – hand sanitizer and…toilet paper? WTF?

Hand-sanitizer kinda makes sense if you don’t know how to wash your hands properly. Yes, it will stave off viral germs and bacteria…if you apply it every single time you touch anything. Keep in mind this virus is spread thru contact of contaminated areas. This would mean carrying a dispenser on your person at all times. It may help but do you really need gallons of the stuff? Keep in mind it’s apparently only beneficial if you have an accompanying equal amount of toilet paper!

Toilet paper? Why in holy hell would anyone hoard toilet paper as a means of disease prevention? So what’s the plan? Following a government officials example you construct a wall of TP, using hand sanitizer as mortar, to keep out the infected? Or maybe you slather yourself in sanitizer and then wrap yourself in toilet paper. Kind of like a hand-sanitized, papier-mâché mummification to wait it out? Are you gonna eat it- got tired of soggy bread during disasters?

Hopefully, you realize this is just a panic buy; created by people who find comfort in thinking they can just buy something to keep them healthy i.e. diet pills. More hopefully, you understand that buying TP will not prevent you from contracting a virus. Most hopefully, you have enough sense to discern that mass buying TP will actually increase your risk of contracting a virus. How? Consider this- if you buy up all the toilet paper that means other people will have to make multiple-return-trips to the store to see if they’ve restocked. More trips equals more chances someone with the virus will enter the store. A store at which you will have to go to again for things other than TP… unless you are actually eating TP sandwiches with sanitized jelly.

So what should you buy? What you normally would and need. In emptying the shelves you are only adding to the panic and escalating the problem. In being part of the problem you only succeed in slowing down the solution.

I welcome almost all questions and comments via the Focus, or E-mail me directly at – [email protected]. Hope to hear from you, until then try and stay focused. See ya!